


Pity Speaks Backwards

by cyaninja



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Smut, but there will be flashbacks, sexual healing, we try to follow the chronological order
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-18
Updated: 2019-04-28
Packaged: 2019-10-12 05:46:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 28,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17461745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cyaninja/pseuds/cyaninja
Summary: Obito has called Zetsu's bluff. He tries to make up for the harm he's done before resting his case. However, his feelings complicate things.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> It's been quite a while ever since the last time I posted anything but I'm not dead. There's a clear pattern in my writing: I always aim for some smut but then a plot happens. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this story! There will be around 5 parts and I try to update whenever the universe seems ready for it.

Obito had been away for quite some time, and he was anything but pleased to be dragged away from his comforting solitude. Konoha didn’t deserve any favors from him. However, there was a pact between him and Kakashi, and Obito was going to keep his end of the deal which was why he stood in the middle of Kakashi’s living room, uninvited and fed up with the whole ordeal.

Nothing new there. 

It was a cloudy night. The moon couldn’t shine through the slits in the blinds, and all the lights were out except for the one shining from the crack under the bathroom door. 

Obito let his gaze sweep around the place. Even with his Sharingan activated, it took a while before his eyes adjusted to the darkness.

The house seemed empty, almost uninhabited and abandoned.

As Obito surveyed the surroundings, he became painfully aware of the fact that he’d picked a terrible time to pay a visit to his friend. Admittedly, a thin layer of dust on the floor was a familiar sight since Kakashi was organized but also too scatter-minded to actively interact with the environment he was in. Even the bookshelves seemed untouched which was unusual.

Apparently, the poor bastard hadn’t had time to read his beloved trash. 

But Obito wasn’t alone. 

No, not at all. 

The shower was running even though nothing else could be heard. In fact, it was quiet to the point where it was just strange. Acknowledging this made Obito roll his eyes. There was only one explanation for the odd atmosphere: his reunion plans with Kakashi were misinterpreted as an assassination attempt. That had probably been the case from the moment he’d entered the building.

There was no point in trying to prevent things from escalating. A shit show was bound to happen. 

The silence grew deeper.

Obito was about shift his position when all of the sudden a sharp blade flung through the air, missing Obito’s right shoulder by mere inches. As he turned around, he was met by yet another sharp object, swiftly pressed against his throat. Kakashi’s breath tickled Obito’s ear, and for a moment, Obito entertained the idea of letting the blade draw blood just to tell his instincts to shut up.

They weren’t needed. 

Yet, Obito’s heart was racing when the adrenaline kicked in and his body prepared for him to fight. Even after months – years – of absolute pacifism, there was a trained soldier inside of Obito, still wanting to confront the assaulter and see which one of them was stronger.

When Obito turned around, his eyes met with a pair of mismatched ones. They were glimmering with wariness but as Kakashi realized who his enemy was, the sharp gaze softened.

“Long time, Bakashi,” Obito commented as the blade pressed against his throat was lowered. 

Kakashi took a deep breath and pulled away. His face was fully exposed and when their bodies moved further apart, Obito realized that Kakashi was wearing nothing but a towel. He decided not to say anything about it. Kakashi’s posture relaxed, and soon enough their eyes were locked together.

Again.

Looking into those mismatched eyes was weirdly mesmerizing. 

They’d been apart for years, almost two decades, but Kakashi still had the gift Obito had given him. The vertical scar on Kakashi’s left eye was a reminder of the day when they’d finally connected, and it seemed that such a bond couldn’t be broken. Time after time Obito found himself back in Konoha, back in Kakashi’s presence. 

Kakashi took a couple of deep breaths. They were those exaggerated inhales followed by long exhales. Breath control was one of the first things taught in the Academy. It forced the adrenaline out of one’s system faster. 

Once a shinobi, always a shinobi. 

“I wasn’t expecting such a late night visit,” Kakashi said. His typical nonchalant tone was back but something about him seemed a bit off. It was his weariness finally showing, Obito thought, trying to put his finger on what was different.

“I was out of options,” Obito pointed out. He wasn’t exactly lying since tracking down Kakashi wasn’t such an easy task, and the bastard was more evasive than before. People were whispering, saying that this man was going to be the next Hokage which was exactly the kind of attention Kakashi avoided.

“Still, you could have tried knocking,” Kakashi stated but he didn’t sound too offended. After all, Obito had to keep a low profile. He’d been officially dead for years and the general assumption in Konoha was that _Madara Uchiha_ was gone as well. Besides, there were already multiple rumors surrounding Kakashi, and the last thing he needed was more unwanted attention. That meant that no one should see him interacting with an outsider. That sort of behavior made people curious and suspicious, especially in Konoha.

Obito kept his eyes on Kakashi and noted the similar gaze lingering on him. However, the only thing Kakashi would see was someone hiding under a hooded cloak and a white porcelain mask without any identifying markings on it.

“Right,” Obito shook off the statement. They both knew that the next time, if there was going to be one, wouldn’t be any better. “I’ve got something for you,” he said as he brought his hand to his belt and took out a scroll, handing it over to Kakashi.

“Dare I open it?” Kakashi asked as he took the item, carefully eyeing it.

“It didn’t burn my eyes off,” Obito shrugged.

“I guess that’s good enough,” Kakashi was reassured by the answer. He opened the scroll, investigating the contents of it without being able to make out anything of it. “What is this?”

“Your guess is as good as mine, I can’t read moonrunes or whatever those things are,” Obito replied. “It was hidden in the Uzushiogakure, just like you anticipated.”

Kakashi tilted his head.

“I’ll make sure lady Fifth gets it. She will have a fuinjutsu specialists look over it,” he said after concluding that there was no catch. Given the circumstances, he was wise not to trust in Obito more than he had to. Despite the connection they shared, they weren’t allies.

Obito was about to turn away and leave. He had many more messes to clean up before he could put all of this behind him and…

And then what?

There was no future to behold. 

Ever since the day Obito had learned that Madara’s plan was as fake as everything else in this absurd reality, he’d been indifferent about the fate of the world. He’d cooperated with Kakashi and Konoha to make up for the mistakes he’d made but he kept questioning if going through the trouble was even worth it. There was barely any hope left for this pitch-black hell. 

Obito didn’t mean to glance at Kakashi one more time but he couldn’t help himself. A part of him wanted to get a confirmation of some kind from Kakashi which was silly and borderline pathetic. And of course, Kakashi was looking back at Obito, stern and curious. He wasn’t expecting proper goodbyes, was he?

But then again, the barrier was set pretty damn low.

“I guess I’ll leave you to finish your shower, then,” Obito wasn’t sure why he bothered with such casual, meaningless trash. Words were hardly worth the effort. Yet, they broke the anticipating silence and cut through the tense atmosphere.

Strange.

“Maa, I was about done anyway,” Kakashi said.

“Right,” Obito commented. And as childish as it was, he couldn’t help but wonder if this was Kakashi trying to imply that there was no need to rush. While they weren’t exactly friends, the connection they shared was still there. Taking that into account, the vague feeling of them missing each other was only natural.

Kakashi smiled, weak and sad but at least he kept his mouth shut about his thoughts. Those were painfully obvious without him spewing them out. 

But a former Anbu guard wouldn’t just decide to be an open book unless there was a good reason for it.

“Won’t you stay for a bit? I’ll go put your discovery somewhere safe. Make yourself comfortable,” Kakashi requested but a decline wasn’t really expected. He wouldn’t ask anything like that out of geniality.

Obito narrowed his eyes.

“Yeah, sure,” he replied.

Kakashi simply nodded before he left the room. The shower was finally turned off, and it was a lot quieter.

Obito sat down in the well-worn couch and listened to the soft noises coming from the other side of the house. Kakashi was shuffling around his bedroom, probably dressing up and finding a temporary stash to the scroll. 

There was a lamp on the table next to the couch. Obito turned it on after concluding that the spot he’d picked was probably where Kakashi spent the most of his time. His body shape was practically painted into the fabric. If someone was watching the house, they’d see the light shining through the cracks in the blinds and think that Kakashi was settled up for a late-night reading session. 

Nothing too suspicious there.

And the couch was weirdly comfortable.

All sort of stupid thoughts ran through Obito’s head. His mind drifted off to a vague place between conscious and subconscious. The concept of home fascinated him, and he felt calm as he kept listening to the sounds of the house. Perhaps that was essential after twenty years of being a vagabond even though Obito didn’t need a place to return to. 

Sure, Konoha had been his home once but that didn’t stop him from being realistic. As long as the village was ruled by the elders feeding their propaganda to the shinobi and preventing them from leaving at their will, there was absolutely no reason to have any flowery thoughts about Konoha.

But the idea of having someone to return to seemed soothing even though thinking about it too much was risky. Obito needed to push the thought aside before he could get too caught up in it.

A door of a closet was shut, and the soft thud of it helped Obito to come back to his senses. He’d put this foolishness behind him.

When Kakashi came back, he was fully dressed. Even his face was covered with his signature half mask and his left eye was covered with his hitai-ate. His hair was still slightly damp and his expression was mildly awkward. Well, that was to be expected given how exceptional the situation was.

They just didn’t talk much.

“I’d offer you tea but I’m afraid that I’ve run out of it,” Kakashi told. His tone was meek. It was hard to tell how serious he was but they didn’t need to waste their time on small talk. 

“Tea is overrated, anyway,” Obito stated. “What is it?”

Kakashi sighed. He shifted his weight from one foot to the other.

“The Fifth is getting serious about retiring,” he said. “The problem is that there aren’t many good candidates for the position.”

“And she wants to throw the hat to you,” Obito guessed. He wasn’t even too surprised. Kakashi had a reputation as a loyal shinobi which was what mattered the most to those who were really in charge.

The elders loved strong, seemingly loyal shinobi who were too depressed to think.

“Yes,” Kakashi admitted. He inhaled like he was getting ready to say something but he didn’t. Instead, he just glanced at Obito, almost apologetically.

“What are you going to do about it?” Obito asked despite knowing that he wasn’t going to get a clear answer. Kakashi was refined by the paradox between his sense of responsibility and his need to escape from everyday life which made him unable to make any decisions. He let other people decide for him. However, he was skeptical about Konoha.

In other words, he was in the worst possible place and therefore desperate enough to ask for an insight.

“I’m not sure,” Kakashi confirmed Obito’s doubts. “I don’t think I’m the right person for the position.”

“That’s bullshit,” Obito said. It wasn’t a compliment, and they both knew it. Kakashi had every quality a perfect Hokage candidate could ask for. He was respected and obedient and he was also very capable of becoming a major headache for the village elders. They needed to convince him to stay loyal and serve the system before it was too late.

Kakashi chuckled. It was a joyless, dry laugh.

“I’m not too sure about that,” he claimed.

Obito rolled his eyes.

“It’s not like you could actually refuse,” he noted. “But you don’t want my advice.”

“What if I do?” Kakashi asked. 

“Just don’t.”

Kakashi didn’t argue any further. He stood still and waited for Obito to speak.

“Where is your pack?” even though Obito wasn’t too fond of pointless talk, leaving after such an odd conversation felt good-for-nothing. He also wanted to ensure that they weren’t going to have the same discussion again.

“They’re on a mission in Kumo,” if there was one way to make Kakashi a bit more comfortable, bringing up the dogs was it. “They’re trying to track down someone,” by that he meant his former student.

“Good luck with that,” Obito mumbled. He hadn’t heard from the brat in a while and he was glad that this was the case. 

“How have your journeys been?” Kakashi changed the subject. He wasn’t the smoothest individual out there, and Obito had a sinking feeling that they were far from done. 

“The usual stuff – nothing significant about the Ōtsutsuki clan, except maybe that souvenir I already gave you.”

Kakashi nodded before taking a few steps closer. 

“You know,” he said, after a pause, “you could still come back.”

Obito snorted. He had absolutely no idea where this nonsense came from and yet, he was fairly positive it had something to do with Kakashi’s own indecisiveness.

“For real,” Kakashi sounded miserable. He didn’t believe in his own words because he was smarter than the shit he’d just spewed. 

Well, this was awkward. It was the theme mood of the night.

“There’s no point,” Obito stated. Admittedly, his tone was harsh but him staying away from Konoha was the best possible solution for everyone. First of all, he was still a rogue shinobi. People who just left were the worst possible criminals in Konoha’s eyes – most would call them terrorists – not to mention that Obito was officially dead. 

Second, he wasn’t going to serve the system and kiss the world’s ass after trying to replace it with something better. Yes, he’d failed there so hard that there were no words to describe the magnitude of it but he still had his standards. A system that treated people like they were replaceable tools didn’t meet them. If anything, this system – and the world – needed a reset.

Obito was done with banging his head against a brick wall but that didn’t mean he’d accept everything Konoha and the other villages were all about. 

Kakashi’s gaze lingered on Obito, trying to reach his eyes.

“I know,” he finally said. “I just… Never mind.”

Obito turned his gaze down. The way Kakashi looked at him was almost intense.

Longing.

Were they really this pitiful?

Obito had no false illusions about him and Kakashi. They were worlds apart even when they were in the same room, and neither of them was going to change. That was the reason why their relationship was so detrimental. They’d miss each other until the end despite them being like oil and water.

“Someone has to keep Konoha in check, right?” Obito wasn’t sure what made him ask such a polarizing question. He knew that Kakashi felt the same but couldn’t bring himself to say it. He was too restricted by norms and rules. 

Kakashi was silent for a moment.

He was doing exactly what Obito had envisioned, being the obedient Konoha lapdog. 

It was better not to judge the man. He wouldn’t change. Maybe that was for the best. After all, Kakashi had a bright future ahead of him.

But something seemed a bit off. 

Kakashi hadn’t brushed off the question with a lame remark. He was quiet, and this pause was getting longer and longer.

“You’re right,” he said. “You’re absolutely right,” he echoed, testing the words.

Obito bit his lip and inhaled.

This was unexpected. He wasn’t sure whether it was a good or thing, something to be feared or embraced. 

Slowly, he moved a bit closer to Kakashi and reached for his arm, not entirely sure why. 

Kakashi’s body tensed as Obito rested his palm against the firm, tattooed arm but soon enough, the tension was replaced by a soft smile that reached Kakashi’s eyes. Strangely enough, it was a genuine one. 

Kakashi leaned a bit closer. His fingers almost touched Obito’s shoulder. 

“You’re not supposed to agree with me, Bakashi,” Obito murmured. At this point, laughing the entire thing off seemed compelling. 

The other alternative was to accept a shift in circumstances. That wouldn’t end well. 

Kakashi let out a strangled laugh.

“It’s ironic, isn’t it?” he asked. “I haven’t even seen your face in years and I’m still asking your advice,” he continued. He had himself to blame for that.

Obito wished he wasn’t so accustomed to having his views altered. 

“I guess,” he replied, uncertain how else to respond. 

“I can’t turn down the Fifth’s offer,” Kakashi’s voice was quiet. “There’s just too much at stake,” he was talking about his former student – the one who ran away and was convicted as a traitor.

“You do realize that you won’t change a thing by accepting the position, right?” Obito pointed out. “You won’t have the power to decide who gets pardoned for their so-called crimes.” That power belonged to the village elders and to the daimyō.

Kakashi smiled. This time it was one of those sad frowns that made him look absolutely fucking dreadful.

“I shouldn’t bother you with something like this,” Kakashi apologized.

Obito felt a lump in his throat. The history he had with Kakashi was pretty far from rosy but that didn’t stop him from caring. The truth was that Obito hated witnessing this, he hated Kakashi giving in like he always did. 

On top of that, the words exchanged were futile.

Actions spoke louder than words and nothing concrete was done.

But Obito couldn’t discredit Kakashi and claim that everything he’d heard was absolutely meaningless to him. He was done trying to be the objective savior for the world and that meant freedom to care about the only person who wasn’t a stranger to him. 

Their hands were touching. Instead of pulling away, Obito brushed his fingers across Kakashi’s palm.

“I can’t help you,” he agreed with Kakashi’s statement. They didn’t need this conversation. “Unless you want bad advice and a free depression,” he then said. Those he could offer.

Kakashi chuckled softly. It sounded bizarre, Obito realized, but that was to be expected from someone who hadn’t laughed in a very long time. 

“Maa, I wouldn’t mind about those,” Kakashi said. His tone was lighter than before which was already an improvement. At that moment, Obito realized that he was much closer to Kakashi than before. 

Their gazes met once again in the dim light, studying one another.

Obito acknowledged that this wasn’t a game they’d want to play.

No, this was a mistake.

But Obito didn’t stop Kakashi from gently lifting up his mask. His first instinct was to turn away and hide but a soft touch on his cheek made him look up and stay put. 

Kakashi smiled. The way he looked at Obito was beautiful because it was abnormally ordinary. There was no horror or disgust. Instead, his visible eye glimmered with bittersweet lightness. It reflected comfort and the delight of seeing someone again. 

Obito rarely found himself speechless, but at that moment, exposed and unable to hide, all words escaped him. His breath caught in his throat. Kakashi brushed his fingers across the scars on Obito’s cheek before he dropped his hand.

It was an opportunity to put the mask back on. Obito let it pass, and Kakashi seemed fine with it. There was a warm spark in his eye, a hint that he was happy to have someone from his past back.

“I’ve missed you.”

Obito knew that he was supposed to ignore those words. He could still convince Kakashi that this weirdness was enough.

But he felt the same.

As the horror of the realization hit Obito, he froze. He could come up with a dozen different excuses for the sudden change in the atmosphere but none of them was good enough to be said. 

“Kakashi…”

“I know,” Kakashi asured. “We really shouldn’t,” he mumbled. They both knew why. 

Yet, neither of them was able to back off. They were so close that their breaths mingled and their lips were mere inches apart.

It had to be unreal.

Obito swallowed hard. Being so near to someone felt strange. He wanted to lean in and pull away, he wanted to stay like that and disappear. 

He didn’t know what he wanted. 

These self-contradictory thoughts tore him apart, making his mind orbit around all sorts of absurdities. 

Obito wasn’t blind. He could still read people.

Kakashi was aching underneath his calm exterior. He had mourned Obito for years even when Obito had been alive, listening to the words that were spoken to an empty grave. That loss never left Kakashi, not even when Obito was right there.

The poor bastard deserved something better. He wasn’t supposed to be reminded of his past over and over again. He needed to move on.

“You don’t want this,” Obito muttered, still frozen in his place. He’d just end up hurting Kakashi even more. All he had to offer was an empty shell of a person which wasn’t enough. 

Kakashi was silent for a moment before he spoke. 

“I wanted to see you one more time,” his voice carried the sound of a soft scolding. “Day after day,” it had always been so evident.

Obito closed his eyes and felt a gentle touch caressing his face, skimming over the scars on his skin. The touch lingered, overwhelming him with gentleness. He certainly didn’t deserve it.

_Sorry._

Words were meaningless which was why Obito wasn’t big on apologies. He wasn’t going to say it aloud. 

“Kakashi?” Obito’s voice came out quietly. It sounded weak and pathetic. As he opened his eyes, he noticed that Kakashi had pulled his own mask down. The man was ridiculously handsome with his pretty face and the stupidly cute beauty mark on his chin. 

“You have no idea how much I’ve missed you,” Kakashi breathed out. His nearness was tangible. 

Slowly, they seemed to melt into one being. 

Their lips met in a light, chaste kiss and their bodies entwined when the kiss turned into a long, searing embrace. A silent moan escaped Obito’s mouth and his toes curled against his shoes – he didn’t bother being a considerate guest – as he sank deeper into Kakashi’s arms. 

_I miss you._

Those words weren’t repeated but they hung in the air and echoed through the gasping breaths. Obito had never been touched like this. He barely even thought about intimacy, but now his soul was starving to be held. 

All he could do was to dig his nails into Kakashi’s back and try to suppress his most pitiful cries. He’d missed this useless idiot a way too much without ever realizing how much his heart had been aching. 

This had to be unreal.

But as absurd as it was to be kissed senseless by Kakashi, their bond had always been strong. This felt right.

An odd, floating sensation was filling Obito’s entire being with stupefying lightness.

It took him a while to even recognize the feeling.

Joy.

Just simple joy.

It made Obito’s skin tingle and his heart beat faster. 

When they finally pulled apart to catch their breaths, a hoarse laugh escaped Obito’s lips.

There was a slight flush on Kakashi’s face. He was the most beautiful sight Obito had seen in a while.

They were going to regret everything if they didn't already. They were still worlds apart.

“I’m going to miss you,” the words were genuine. They’d go their separate ways and that was inevitable. They’d leave each other confused and feeling even more alone and unsatisfied by the fact that they were like night and day, just completely separate.

Obito wanted to make up for it. 

He swung a leg over Kakashi’s lap to half straddle him.

“Don’t such stupid stuff, Bakashi.”

There was not much point in holding back. The damage was already done. 

Obito paused for a moment.

He didn’t know what he was doing.

Kakashi’s gaze was fixed on Obito, following his every move with anticipation. He leaned slightly backward, tilting his hips just enough to indicate that he didn’t mind where things were going. 

Obito felt shivers run down his spine as he slid his hands down Kakashi’s sides.

He never intended to go this far. 

“Are you sure this is okay?” Obito asked as he ran his fingers down on Kakashi’s zipper. 

“Just keep going,” Kakashi husked even though he was supposed to be the reflective one. 

It was such a clear request.

Obito opened the button of Kakashi’s pants, sliding his hand under the waistband of his boxers.

Kakashi’s eye lingered on Obito’s skin, curious and marveling as Obito lowered his hands and began to explore. Every motion was awkward and clumsy but instead of commenting it, Kakashi began to move his hips slowly, thrusting against the deliberate strokes. He was shivering, and that gave Obito confidence to continue even though he was questioning why he was doing this.

Why?

It was a question that was destined not to be answered. 

“Please,” Kakashi’s voice was quiet and filled with anticipation. He really wanted it, didn’t he? The atmosphere quivered with unresolved tension.

It wasn’t the right moment to freak out.

Obito needed to push aside all of his doubts and insecurities. His hands were shaking, no, he was shaking. 

A silent moan echoed through the air when Obito squeezed the leaking member in his hand a little harder and slid his fingers a bit deeper into Kakashi’s underwear to stroke it from the bottom. Pleasuring someone wasn’t supposed to be that difficult. Whilst Obito didn’t touch himself often, there were nights when the ache of being untouched got too strong to ignore. A quick fix to the feeling was all about the right motions and movements.

It wasn’t that hard.

This felt wrong.

The realization hit Obito along with a wave of dismay. 

He could do anything without Kakashi resisting. The poor bastard was shivering in pleasure, lost somewhere deep within. 

Seeing Kakashi in such a condition was certainly a sight but… 

Obito didn’t need to have such power over him.

Not anymore, not after that night. 

Obito hesitated for a moment and swallowed hard. He was supposed to say something but as always, the words were stuck in his throat. He’d always been like that, unable to speak during the rare occasions when words mattered.

Kakashi opened his eye, looking at Obito with an absent expression.

“Something wrong?” he murmured. His tone was frail and distracted.

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

“I didn’t know that you were aiming for that,” Kakashi pointed out. “I’m not that fragile.”

A strangled, raspy chuckle came out of Obito’s mouth. It was such a horrible time to laugh and he hated the way his voice sounded. It was beyond pathetic.

And things were headed in the wrong direction.

“Yeah, but still,” it was a hardly an argument. “Never mind.”

Kakashi sighed and reached up to cup Obito’s cheeks. 

“It’s alright,” he reassured. “Do you want to stop?”

“I don’t,” Obito replied. He sincerely wanted to give this man something good. “I just…” he never got a chance to finish his sentence. Kakashi cut him off by pressing him down, pinning him between his legs. 

Obito turned his head up to Kakashi, letting out an involuntary gasp. He felt so insignificant all of the sudden even though he could easily take back control. Still, there was an ambiguous shift in the air, and something about it was enough to convince Obito that he wasn’t the one to dominate the situation. 

“You’re talking too much,” Kakashi concluded. “I’m sure you’ll find a way to fix it,” he squeezed Obito’s hair in his fist, bending his head backward.

When he released his grip, Obito was shivering. He could feel a phantom pull on his scalp and the thrill of slight pain ran down his veins, waking up his desires.

It was odd but odd was insignificant. 

Obito dipped his head down and took Kakashi’s length into his mouth, trying to cover his teeth with his lips. 

Kakashi inhaled quietly and ran his fingers through Obito’s hair before placing his hand on the back of Obito’s neck, helping him to pick up the pace. 

Obito tried to imagine how Kakashi felt. He’d never allowed himself to be distracted by such thoughts but this seemed like the right way to do it. He wanted to hear those silent moans, again and again, he wanted to make Kakashi feel absolutely amazing.

Not to prove anything, but just because it was Kakashi.

As Obito brushed his hand against Kakashi’s inner thigh, Kakashi inhaled sharply and let out a shaky breath. His hips thrust forward and his cock invaded deeper into Obito’s mouth, hitting his palate along the way. 

Finally, Obito was doing what seemed to work. Encouraged by the sudden, undisciplined motions, he wrapped his fingers around Kakashi’s leaking member and began to caress it with long, gentle strokes while trying to suck it as deep as he could.

Kakashi’s fingers ran down from Obito’s neck to his upper back, stroking his shoulder blades through his cloak and pulling him closer into what resembled a strange, affectionate embrace. It was weird to feel so connected with someone, especially like this.

But at the same time, it was the most natural feeling that could arise. 

This was how Obito truly wanted to be. He was glad to make Kakashi shiver and tremble, to witness his mask of nonchalant pretense being lifted up.

When Obito twirled his tongue around Kakashi’s erection, a silent moan carried through the air. He kept going, and he could taste salty precum on his tongue. He teased the tip by pressing his lips around the flesh only to release it from his suck.

And that worked better than anything so far. 

Kakashi muttered something unintelligible, but at this point, he didn’t need to make much sense. He wanted Obito to keep going. His breath was heavy and panting, and it was the most gratifying sound in the world. His legs were trembling around Obito which encouraged him to push the limits and find out where Kakashi’s breaking point was. 

“I’m so close,” Kakashi breathed out. How many people had heard him like that? Probably not that many. It was an honor to be one of the few. 

Obito raised his gaze slightly, just enough to look at Kakashi. His eye was closed and he had a faint flush on his cheeks. He was absurdly gorgeous like that.

More precum leaked into Obito’s mouth, and Kakashi’s breaths were so damn heavy.

His hips jerked forward, spasming and his muscles clenched with pleasure. He grasped Obito’s hair one last time as a long, sated groan slipped past his lips. Obito felt his cock pulsating against his palate, pulsating until Obito could taste salt and heat. He swallowed the load, then slowly pulled back to catch his own breath, vaguely realizing that he was still hard and untouched. 

He’d have to take care of it later.

It took a while before Kakashi was able to speak at all. Slowly, he opened his eye and blinked into the dimness of the room. 

“I never thought that you were so good at this,” he finally said. Was there a question? Perhaps, but Kakashi didn’t need to know how inexperienced Obito was. He could probably already tell that there was nothing worth mentioning. The bright side of being a rogue ninja was that sex wasn’t in the job description whereas many obedient shinobi were sent on missions where desperate measures were used, including seduction. 

“You’re just too easy to please,” Obito replied. He couldn’t help but smile when Kakashi caressed his cheek before helping him back up.

“Always so sweet,” Kakashi concluded. “Come here.”

Obito pulled himself up to the couch and snuggled into Kakashi’s warm, tight embrace. They ended up kissing again, this time slow and gentle. As Obito ran his fingers across Kakashi’s hair, he noted that it felt like a pile of straws against his palm which seemed ironically fitting.

They stayed like that for a while longer, pressed together.

Kakashi moved his fingers across Obito’s spine, studying his reactions. At one point, he slid his hands all the way down and when he paused, Obito realized that he was practically aching. He wanted to be touched.

He wanted to pull Kakashi on top of him, make him do all sorts of things and… 

No, he didn’t.

His scars weren’t only facial. He could hardly recall the last time he’d looked himself down there. There was a reason for him to bathe with his eyes closed and touch himself only when he was absolutely bursting.

And even if it wasn’t for the visual downsides, Kakashi didn’t need to commit for hours just to get anything done. The truth was that Obito was numb throughout and there weren’t any exceptions to the rule. 

Obito touched Kakashi’s palm gently to stop his hand from going deeper.

“Don’t, I prefer doing that alone,” he said, forcing all the shame away from his tone. If anything, he could still act.

Kakashi looked almost disappointed but he didn’t push it any further. He just nodded and pressed a tiny, reassuring kiss on Obito’s forehead before pulling him back against his chest.

“You’re coming back here, right?” Kakashi asked quietly as they enjoyed their last minutes together.

“Probably,” Obito claimed.

But he wouldn’t hold his breath about that.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time to update, yay! This time we're looking things from Kakashi's POV. Again, I just wanted to write smut but if you see a plot, don't blame me. It just showed up.

It took quite a while before Obito came back. He’d left without saying a word. 

After three weeks and two days of waiting, Kakashi was willing to admit that he’d made a mistake. He wasn’t above his own feelings, and he’d still slept with Obito, knowing all too well that intimacy was a dangerous tool. It led to unintended consequences. 

Sometimes impractical, excessive emotions were the price of it. They were the reason why every shinobi was encouraged to avoid affectionate interactions. 

This kind of life wasn’t suited for romances.

Every day was filled with worry and fear. 

In all fairness, such feelings were hardly anything new. Obito didn’t tell what he was up to or what kind of mess he'd gotten himself into. All Kakashi knew was that Obito was going against unknown forces after unintentionally toying with them. That was pretty much the definition of a valid reason for worrying.

Kakashi helped the best he could. He offered his insight when Obito asked for it, which wasn’t very often. 

Obito had been more open about his goals lately, though.

That was the second reason for Kakashi’s worry. 

However, concern wasn’t the only feeling that kept bothering Kakashi. It took him a week to come in terms with the unpleasant truth. He was disappointed with the realities of life. 

Obito was never coming back to stay. He’d always leave, and that wasn’t going to change. 

Kakashi understood the decision. Obito was pretty blunt about his views. He didn’t accept the ideas Konoha promoted. Admittedly, some of them were debatable, and even though Kakashi had been willing to accept his role as an honorary servant to the system, he did question what protecting the village meant. Konoha didn’t care about the individuals who _were_ the village. Any shinobi was replaceable, and that seemed to contradict the majestic words said about protecting what mattered most.

Life was harsh on those who were born as shinobi. No matter what the Academy told children, there was no real choice to be made. Once one held a kunai in their hand, there was no turning back. Kakashi could see the problem but the truth was that he’d been too numb to care about it. He still was. 

Obito was different. He said that he didn’t care about the world and he said that it was a hopeless, pitch-black pit of misery.

Kakashi didn’t argue against these claims but he could see how Obito’s eyes would light up whenever he talked about everything that was wrong in this society. There was still a spark of hope in him. Whether he realized it or not, his inner fire was inspiring, even beautiful. 

As selfish as it was, Kakashi wanted to feel those flames again. He felt alive when Obito was around. 

That’s where the disappointment came in. One moment Obito was the only meaningful person in Kakashi’s life, the next moment he was someone who didn’t even bother with goodbyes.

It was said that love hurt.

Kakashi wished he wouldn’t know it. He’d been able to suppress his need for such a terrifying feeling in the past but things were different now that Obito was alive. 

Whenever Kakashi found himself missing Obito, he would remind himself of how fortunate he was to have other people around him. Gai was still his self-proclaimed eternal rival and Sakura and Naruto visited him every now and then even though they weren’t his students anymore. 

However, the said connections were never quite enough to make the longing go away. Kakashi felt that his heart was withering away in his chest. Maybe he deserved it. After all, he was unable to appreciate the good things he had in his life.

While these relationships were meaningful and real, none of them meant as much as the connection Kakashi shared with Obito. They shared their vision and sometimes it seemed that they shared a soul, too. 

But their lives didn’t match with one another. 

The Fifth had been insistent about Kakashi meeting the village elders for the past few months. It seemed that he was going to be the next Hokage. He’d almost accepted this since he felt responsible for letting one of his students down by allowing him to leave. He’d told himself that he could fix it once he had the power to decide whose names were in the Bingo Book. 

Obito was right. 

A mere state marionette couldn’t do much against the system that had been built up over the years. The foundations of it were corrupted from the beginning, and such a system didn’t need to be fixed, it needed to be replaced.

Kakashi was curled in his couch, holding a book he’d read a dozen times. He felt lost and nervous.

The atmosphere felt charged, just like the last time Obito had shown up. 

Kakashi brought his hand on his hitai-ate, slowly lifting it up. He could sense a weird presence, vague emotions from somewhere afar. As the feeling grew stronger, he adjusted his position and listened to the sounds of the house. 

“Right here, Bakashi,” Obito’s voice spoke from the darkest corner of the room. 

“You sure took your sweet time,” Kakashi commented as he turned around. He didn’t expect an explanation. “So, is there anything new I should know?”

“Not this time,” Obito replied. “Just the usual.”

The _usual_ had many meanings, including global disasters and cosmic catastrophes. Kakashi had learned not to ask more than one question at a time. Obito’s answers were perfunctory, and the more questions were asked, the more were left unanswered.

“Good,” Kakashi claimed. He was going to assume that nothing too urgent was on the horizon.

“Is it?” Obito’s tone was dry and sardonic. 

“Apparently not,” Kakashi guessed. “But you are here,” he added, laying down the book he hadn’t read in hours.

“Has Konoha found out anything new about that stuff?”

“Why is this important?” Kakashi kept his tone neutral but he had a sinking feeling that Obito knew something he wouldn’t share. After all, they weren’t allies.

“Just answer the question,” Obito muttered.

Kakashi met Obito’s gaze. He expected to see annoyance but instead of that, there was a slight hint of weariness in Obito’s eyes. He seemed tired.

“I delivered it to the office,” Kakashi told. “All I know is that the Fifth assigned a team to examine that.”

“Tsk.”

“I’m sure they’re doing their best,” Kakashi stated even though his excuses weren’t needed. Obito was desperate enough to cooperate with Konoha which was why he wasn’t in a place where he could criticize the pace of the investigation. 

Kakashi just wanted to reassure his friend that things were going to be alright.

“You don’t know that,” Obito pointed out. 

“I don’t,” Kakashi admitted. “But right now, dealing with this benefits Konoha. Besides, this isn’t a debate we should have tonight,” he said.

Obito rolled his eyes but said nothing. It was hard to tell what he was thinking. His face was covered with his new favorite porcelain mask but he was ambiguous even when his face was exposed.

It was impossible to see through the veil of secrecy.

Obito had always been a bit of an enigma despite his seemingly straightforward nature. Perhaps that was what made him so mesmerizing. He was like a puzzle that needed to be put together. Time after time, Kakashi tried to solve the mystery that this man represented only to realize that he’d failed yet again. 

Kakashi got up and walked to Obito, placing his hand on his shoulder.

Obito stood still, barely responding at all but the look in his eyes softened, and for a short, brief, miraculous moment, he seemed almost vulnerable. It was an uncommon sight, especially these days.

Kakashi decided to preserve the memory of it. 

“I missed you,” he said as reached for the porcelain mask to lift it up. There was still no visible response but Kakashi could feel a slight, uncomfortable move. It was a small flinch that gave away Obito’s hesitancy. 

But they stayed like that, and Obito didn’t shy away.

Kakashi brushed his thumb over Obito’s lower lip. The vertical scar there looked deep, thicker than the rest of the scars. As he did this, Obito began to relax. It seemed like he was getting less and less distressed by the idea of being unmasked.

“I missed you too, Bakashi,” Obito replied. His voice was raspy and hoarse but his tone was softer than usual. It made him sound almost mellow. 

Kakashi couldn’t help but smile a bit as his felt Obito’s fingertips on his face, moving across his jawline. He felt his half-mask being pulled down with a gentle tug.

Moments later, they shared a light kiss, followed by another one and then another one. Their lips locked together, colliding and parting. There was a sense of intimacy between them, beautiful and harmonous. As their embrace grew tighter, Kakashi pushed Obito against the wall and pinned him there, hips jerking forward. Their bodies pressed hard against each other, and a silent moan escaped Obito’s lips. It was such a gratifying sound. 

Kakashi wanted this man.

He groped for Obito’s waist, feeling the touch being mirrored back to him.

_I love you._

Kakashi couldn’t say it aloud. Some feelings were too complicated, too dangerous to be felt all. Obito was very likely already aware of them. But he’d made clear that he didn’t need or want any big words. Kakashi was going to respect that. Instead of saying silly things, he buried his face into the black cloak covering the curve of Obito’s neck.

“You smell so nice,” Kakashi told as he noticed the scent of woods and fresh air. There was something strangely soothing about it even though he couldn’t put his finger on it. 

“You’re weird,” Obito concluded but his tone suggested that he didn’t mind the said attribute. His hands rested on Kakashi’s shoulders, touching him ever so lightly. It was hard to believe that such a gentle person was also one of the most feared criminals. 

But then again, these paradoxes were the key part of Obito. It was disturbingly easy to picture him burning down an entire village and feeling sorry for the trees surrounding the area. 

“Bedroom?” Kakashi asked, pressing a tiny kiss to the corner of Obito’s mouth. The vertical scar felt hard and swollen.

“Mm,” Obito assented, opening his eyes. They were gleaming with warmth and vulnerability, and that expression made him look even more beautiful than he already was. 

It didn’t take too much time for them to reach their destination. They kissed and groped each other, moving blindly across the floor. Kakashi tore his shirt off on the way whilst Obito trailed kisses all over his neck. He was even considerate enough to take off his gloves and kick off his shoes before he pressed Kakashi against the bed and began to fumble for the zipper of Kakashi’s pants to get rid of them.

Those who managed to live long enough inside the system were trained for seduction and taught a variety of different techniques and skills. 

It was quite apparent that Obito wasn’t trained in the said area. His fingers were clumsy and his moves were rough and hurried. Yet, Kakashi didn’t mind the little quirks. He was just genuinely amazed that this was what Obito wanted to do. After all, the history they shared was complicated. They could’ve gone down an entirely different route.

But it didn’t seem to matter.

Kakashi was always glad to have his best friend back, even if it was just for one night.

A silent sigh left his lips as Obito’s finger curled around his hardening member, caressing it slowly and gently. The strokes were sensual even when they were a bit uncertain and hesitant. 

But the way Obito touched Kakashi was perfect in every possible way. It was genuine. It lacked all the cold calculation that every other shinobi showed when they performed an intimate act on their targets. 

“Go faster,” Kakashi murmured, closing his eyes and allowing himself to enjoy the newly found sensation. The truth was that he’d never been too excited to have sex. Mostly, that had been an occasional necessity to complete a mission, and while there were a few instances of good luck, Kakashi associated such intimacy with dangerous settings. Therefore enjoying it was strange, pleasant, but unfamiliar. 

Ironically, Obito was probably the most dangerous man alive. It was wise to remember that he was going to learn to weaponize the physical against the emotional.

Kakashi didn’t worry too much about this possibility, though. He simply couldn’t. 

Obito paused for a moment before he adjusted his position slightly to the side.

“Better?” he asked as he began to rub Kakashi’s erection harder. His pace was still rather slow and hesitant but it certainly felt amazing. 

“Yes, just like that,” Kakashi replied. A part of him acknowledged that his breath was already heavy and that his reflexes to hold back were kicking in. He needed a reminder of his surrounding. This wasn’t a mission, and he wasn’t going to let the past ruin the present.

Kakashi cracked open his left eye and met Obito’s gaze again. He saw uncertainty.

Obito’s head tilted downward like he was fighting against the urge to turn away and hide his face. Unsure what to say, Kakashi brought his hand on Obito’s cheek, brushing his fingers over those beautiful, beautiful scars. 

“I could show you a few tricks if you want” he ended up saying. He really wanted to touch Obito more, make him feel absolutely amazing but it was better not to push it. Obito had been pretty clear about his preferences.

However, Kakashi needed to assure that this wasn’t complicated at all. It was the least he could do.

“No, I…” Obito cut himself short.

“It’s alright,” Kakashi told. “You can be a bit rougher, though. I don’t break that easily.”

Obito didn’t seem convinced about it. He looked at Kakashi like he’d gone mad, and in any other circumstances, Kakashi would’ve either poked fun out of it or agreed. It was absurd how someone was confident enough to go against entire armies but lacked the confidence to do something categorically harmless. 

But maybe it wasn’t so strange given Obito’s paradoxical nature. He was still exactly the same person whom Kakashi had secretly admired since the moment they’d met. The realized had hit Kakashi too late which was still his biggest regret.

“Are you sure?” it was an absurd question, especially coming from Obito. He seemed fairly non-threatening for someone who could pass for the legendary Madara Uchiha.

Kakashi smiled even though he didn’t dare to laugh at the paradox.

“Yes,” he replied. “You’re cute when you’re confused,” he added since it was true and stupid little comments worked well on Obito. Kakashi took great pleasure in witnessing a slight tint of red rising to Obito’s cheeks.

Sure, that was a bit immature but Kakashi couldn’t help himself. 

“You’re such an asshole,” Obito informed, rolling his eyes but despite him trying to hide it, a small, tiny hint of a shy smile decorated his lips. And that’s exactly what Kakashi had aimed for. He wanted to see Obito happy or at least smiling every now and then.

“Maa, you like me,” Kakashi concluded, still being the hopeless prick he’d pretended to be for years. It wasn’t a secret that these antics were a tribune to Obito and his softer, more innocent side. Besides, his sense of humor wasn’t any less dry than Kakashi’s, quite the opposite.

“You wish,” Obito deadpanned but he was sweet enough to press a light kiss on the corner of Kakashi’s mouth and most importantly, he’d gathered up some courage to continue what he’d started earlier. His slow caresses were still undisciplined but there was more confidence, more focus.

Those silly little comments weren’t entirely wasted.

Kakashi sank deeper down into the mattress beneath him, inhaling deep. He really liked the way Obito’s touch affected him, made him feel a warm tickle in his stomach. The sensation spread through him, making his body relax and give in to the touch. He exhaled, letting his senses take it all in. It must’ve been ages ever since the last time he’d felt this way… 

It’d been the three weeks ago – three weeks and two days.

Nothing could compare to this feeling. Being close to a loved one was certainly nice even though Kakashi was foolish to let his emotions cloud his judgment. 

The first lesson about seduction covered topics ranging from the basic safety measures to the use of oils and reproductive medicine but the most emphasized statement was that dissociation was needed. 

_This_ went against every safety measure Kakashi knew. His position was fairly vulnerable and his vital organs were exposed to a hypothetical attack.

The concept was fascinating instead of repulsive. 

Kakashi took a deep breath and let Obito’s scent fill his nostrils. They’d considered ending each other’s misery in the past and yet, neither of them showed a sign of bitterness. 

The line between love and hate was thin. This moment was a miracle. 

Obito’s fingers brushed over Kakashi’s erection, making sure to rub the entire length. Kakashi shivered in pleasure, his back arching off the mattress. It wasn’t the action itself but the sentiment behind it. 

“This is good, right?” Obito’s voice was quiet, more pleasant and loving than usual.

“Yes,” Kakashi mumbled. 

By every movement, by every pulse of time, Obito got better, more aware of his power over Kakashi. Even though that was to be expected, Kakashi wasn’t physically prepared for it. His hips jerked forward as he felt the grip tighten around his cock.

The warm sensation in his lower abdomen intensified, sending waves of searing heat through him.

Obito was practically refined by his ability to adjust. He’d always been the person who needed a couple of absolutely miserable tries before he got better and was able to perform so well and so suddenly that it was ridiculous. 

It was amazing and terrifying. 

Kakashi let out a silent sigh as Obito’s fingers cupped his balls, pressing into the tender flesh behind them. This took Kakashi completely off guard and it felt stupidly amazing. 

“I'm not going to last long.”

“Is it a bad thing, Bakashi?” Obito asked. Despite the obvious mockery, there was a trace of softness in his voice. He kept moving his hand, rubbing Kakashi’s leaking member up and down.

“Not at all,” Kakashi admitted even though it was probably a mistake. His hips twitched upward of their own accord. He was barely in control of himself and he was falling in love.

Obito would figure it out eventually which was potentially fatal. 

The thought of it still failed to be concerning. 

Obito had always been able to push Kakashi close to the edge and strip him off of restrictions and obligations. Now that they were fooling around, this went even further. It not only got Kakashi to abandon his mental role as an obedient server to the system, but it also got him thinking about how they could be more than friends who slept together.

Such thoughts were truly dangerous. 

Kakashi needed to touch Obito some more. He wanted to feel the man’s gorgeous body against his own and enjoy the presence of his loved one. He reached out for Obito, slowly placing his hand on his hip.

Obito allowed it. His lips parted and a shaky breath came out, his body tensing.

Kakashi ran his hand up the curve of Obito’s ass but he didn’t try to go any further than that. Instead, he just enjoyed the mutuality of the moment. He was glad to be able to touch Obito back while being touched. The gentle massage kept going, finding one erogenous zone after another.

“I want you near me,” Kakashi husked, voice hoarse and breathy. “Come.”

There was a hint of hesitation in Obito’s gaze but he snuggled up against Kakashi, pressing his lips lightly to Kakashi’s neck. 

Kakashi turned on his side. Now they were laying there face to face, bodies almost intertwined. Their lips met in a sweet, lazy kiss. Pleasure was building up in Kakashi. He was getting closer to his limit. The feeling wasn’t sudden, nor was it overwhelming. It was mellow and pleasant, soft and tingling. 

Was this how civilians felt when they were intimate?

That’s what Kakashi could only assume. A strangled moan broke from his mouth as the blissful vibrations grew stronger. They washed over him, making his toes curl and his mind spin. It was such an intense experience.

Kakashi had never felt so connected with another human being in his life. His cock was leaking profusely against Obito’s hand. Shivers went down his spine and he knew that the limit was very, very close. He needed to reach it.

“I’m going to come,” Kakashi managed to blurt out. A part of him was uneasy about the fact that this was going to be messy and awkward but another part of him didn’t care about it. Hells, something about the concept seemed compelling. Kakashi wanted to show that side of himself to Obito, he wanted to lose control in the most intimate manner possible. 

“Mmm, good,” Obito breathed against Kakashi’s lips. “I want to see that – you coming for me, Bakashi,” he purred, and Kakashi trembled, his breath coming out rough and unsteady. The orgasm was already approaching, rising up through his body, coming from deep within. His cock throbbed against Obito’s hand, swollen and almost too sore to be touched.

He inhaled, exhaled and jerked his hips upward to thrust in Obito’s hand for the last time. He could taste the saltiness of his own sweat as he melted into the passionate embrace, giving himself permission to dissolve into pleasure. 

At the peak of the climax, Kakashi groped Obito’s hips like he was desperately trying to prevent him from disappearing. 

‘Cause all of this felt too good to be true.

Kakashi was afraid – afraid that he’d wake up all alone covered in sweat and semen. It had happened before. 

But Obito’s lips felt so soft and concrete that Kakashi was willing to believe in them. They felt more real than anything else in the world.

Everything fell apart.

Kakashi clutched the fabric of Obito’s shirt in his fists, shaking, letting out a soft, breathless moan. His body tensed up, then relaxed and his insides burst into flames. Bliss ran through his veins, ripping the life out of him, making him spurt into Obito’s hand.

The world went dark and blurry. Everything felt soothingly hazy. 

If this was what people felt after intimate interactions, Kakashi couldn’t blame them for falling in love. He could relate. 

He took a couple of deep breaths, trying to recollect his thoughts. Obito pressed a tiny, loving his on his forehead before pulling away.

“Liked that?” he asked. 

Kakashi simply nodded and smiled. He was too dazed to say much.

“Good,” Obito commented as they pulled apart. “Let’s get you clean, m’kay?” he was really showing his softer side. 

Kakashi didn’t resist even though he was a bit too overwhelmed to his liking. He wasn’t used in gentleness. No shinobi was taught to express or receive it.

Obito wiped away most of the mess with the first piece of clothing he could find from the floor. After doing that, he adjusted his position, allowing Kakashi to snuggle in beside him. 

It was a sign that they could spend a few minutes together without having to worry about the rest of the world. 

This sort of carefree happiness wasn’t going to be permanent, and Obito wasn’t going to stay the night. He’d let Kakashi fall asleep and leave before the dawn. 

“When are you coming back?” Kakashi asked, keeping his voice neutral. Getting emotional over that question seemed pointless. 

Obito turned his head to glance at Kakashi. His gaze was weary, almost pitying. 

“I still need to know what those stupid scribbles mean,” he reminded. 

Weeks. Months. That’s what the answer meant. 

The realization caused a sudden sense of loss to replace the earlier feeling of inner peace. Kakashi didn’t feel like ruining this beautiful moment by showing it but there was a heavy weight in his chest, making his heart ache with yearning. 

Rationally speaking, this was his own fault. He wasn’t willing to do anything to the cause of his misery.

Konoha needed shinobi who could fulfill their obligations and protect the village against itself. 

Despite the facts, a part of Kakashi wanted to leave the liabilities behind. 

He wanted to follow Obito and see if they could achieve real, meaningful changes.

It was an actual possibility even though Kakashi couldn’t bring himself to say the word. He didn’t have the strength necessary to overcome his own doubts. 

Konoha was hanging by a thread. The elders had more power than ever and they had the right to name a successor to the Fifth if she wasn’t able to find one on her own. Kakashi felt a responsibility to stay until better someone more qualified than him could be found.

Besides, Obito seemed better off alone.

But he would take Kakashi with him anywhere. 

That’s who Obito was.

He was brave enough to argue against the entire world and he was more than willing to stand up for anyone who wanted to leave the corrupted system behind – even for Kakashi.

“Hey?”

“Yeah?”

“I don’t want you to go,” it was the closest thing to the truth Kakashi could say. 

Obito brushed his fingers across Kakashi’s forehead, looking at the sealing and swallowing hard. 

“I know,” he said after a long pause. The confession wasn’t followed by a request to leave Konoha together. That was up to Kakashi who was no good for making the right choices. 

“What would it take to make you stay for the night?” Kakashi knew that the answer to this question wasn’t going to be a pleasant one. He glanced at Obito, regretting the way that had come out. 

Their eyes met again, and neither of them blinked.

“I… This is already kinda dumb,” Obito muttered. He was right.

Absolutely right.

“I know,” Kakashi reassured. “I know,” he repeated but his tone couldn’t reach an assertive note. 

Obito grimaced. He didn’t even try to hide his discomfort with the topic. Admittedly, his reaction was entirely reasonable. This conversation was going nowhere. 

There was a number of reasons why these meetings were dangerous and borderline insane. 

It was fair to assume that the house was under surveillance. Even though the Fifth was much less interested in Konoha residents’ personal lives than her predecessors, she had every reason to be suspicious about Kakashi’s informants. After all, Kakashi had turned in classified material without being able to properly explain how he got it.

Obscure excuses wouldn’t work forever.

“You could still become the next Hokage, you know?” Obito asked with a silent voice. “Leave this mess behind and try to have a decent life.”

“Weren’t we supposed to stop the world end?” Kakashi countered. “As long as you cooperate with Konoha, I’m a part of this.”

“I never wanted to drag you into this mess,” Obito said, still quiet.

“I think we can both agree that it was my choice,” Kakashi replied.

“You deserve more than this.”

It took quite a while before Kakashi could speak.

“You’re such a dumbass,” he sighed. “Don’t you get it?”

“Get what?” Obito’s expression was blank. It meant that he was either honestly perplexed or, more likely, testing Kakashi.

“Never mind,” Kakashi decided to give up. He wasn’t good at emotional communication.

Maybe it was selfish to ignore such a genuine question. 

However, there was nothing wrong with avoiding personal topics. Those just made matters worse. 

Obito didn’t speak. His eyes were fixed on Kakashi as he ran his fingers over Kakashi’s hair. It was a sweet, gentle touch, proving once again that even a feared criminal could show real kindness. 

This world was a strange one. The beauty of it was found in weird places, in weird times. 

Kakashi was out of words but that was alright. Feelings didn’t need to be verbalized. Obito hated big words anyway. 

But Kakashi loved this man. 

Sometimes he wondered if these feelings were mutual.

It wasn’t a question worth asking. All that mattered was that Obito was still alive there, playing with Kakashi’s hair and laying down next to him. 

It was absurd.

Kakashi had betrayed Obito’s trust in the worst possible way, broken the most important promise that he’d ever made and yet, Obito didn’t seem to blame him for it.

Not anymore. 

Kakashi was going to leave many questions unasked.

Obito could take his Sharingan back anytime – yet, he’d never even implied that he wanted to go through with it. He’d had many opportunities for that. After all, Kakashi had thought that he’d lost his friend for good. 

Instead of utilizing the opportunity, Obito had kept his promise to always watch over Kakashi. 

He was still doing it, Kakashi realized, absently sliding his hand across Obito’s chest. 

“Bakashi?” 

“Mm?” Kakashi responded. He’d barely even realized how exhausted he was until now. 

“I should leave soon.”

“Please,” Kakashi mumbled. “Just a few more minutes,” he asked, inhaling Obito’s scent, squeezing the fabric of Obito’s shirt in his fist. He was too tired to say anything more but he smiled as he felt Obito wrapping his arm tighter around him. 

“It’s always going to be a few more minutes, isn’t it?” Obito accused but he didn’t sound harsh about it. 

“Only for this time,” Kakashi promised. 

“So, when did you decide to become a clingy bastard?” Obito asked. His tone was dryish but underneath the bluntness, there was a hint of warmth that made his usually raspy voice sound almost sweet.

It was a valid question. This wasn’t a feature Kakashi recognized having. He needed to quit being an emotional mess.

He’d do it later.

“I think it might be your fault,” in all fairness, Kakashi wasn’t lying. His words were slurring with power drain and exhaustion. Obito should’ve pointed out that this performance was pretty darn weak. 

He didn’t.

He had a hidden layer of gentleness in him, and it showed when it was least expected.

“You’re hopeless, Bakashi,” Obito commented. “Abso-fucking-lutely hopeless,” he was right and he didn’t seem to mind it.

They stayed like that for more than _just a few more minutes_. Kakashi snuggled closer to his friend and convinced himself that this was going to be permanent – that he’d wake up next to Obito, still able to hear the steady heartbeat and the sound of calm breathing.

It was fair to admit that these unrealistic fantasies, these obvious delusions, were much more appealing than reality.

Obito’s presence lingered, lulling Kakashi into a near doze.

_Don’t you ever leave._

Kakashi didn’t mean to say it aloud but people said all sorts of stupid things when they were worn out and had to rest for a while.

A soft touch placed on Kakashi’s shoulder reassured that there was no need to worry. 

And even though Kakashi woke up all alone, he was grateful for that brief, beautiful moment of false hope.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not updating in a while! KakaObi week kept me kind of busy for the better half of February. Anyway, the latest chapter is here. I took some creative liberties with Madara's curse mark since the canon around it is kind of vague. This is also where some flashbacks occur, hope y'all enjoy this! (:

_The Land of Iron is remote and desolate. The area has a reputation as a neutral space where various meetings and diplomatic discussions can take place. Every now and then, there’s a truce between all five great shinobi nations, and while one might argue that peace doesn’t exist in this pitch-black hell, negotiations do happen._

_Right there._

_In the best case scenario, Kakashi will listen to a couple of carefully selected words. He has no idea that Obito is alive and in the same country. There’s a mere mile between them._

_A cold breeze runs through the air, covering a set of fresh footprints in the snow. It doesn’t matter. Obito can still see the shadowy figures ahead of him. They can’t hide. The landscape is too flat and empty._

_All Obito needs to do is to wait for the right moment. Then he can catch up with Kakashi._

_It will be their last reunion._

_The world is full of lies and lacking in hope. Obito has finally stopped trying to fix it. He knows that the only cure to the disease of misery is a lie. It has been fake all along. This absurd reality can’t be saved since all the solutions are myths and nothing more. Those who claim otherwise are lying to themselves._

_They can’t be blamed for it, though._

_Everyone needs something to keep them sane._

_But Obito – he’s personally done with life. He’s about to die, he has felt it in his chest for a while._

_It’s time to clear some misconceptions since Kakashi is still unaware of many things._

_That’s going to change._

_Obito’s heart misses a beat as he takes a step forward._

*

Obito had reached a dead end. There were no traces to follow. 

Konoha wasn’t making much progress either. The team that was assigned to study the contents of the scroll had managed to translate the markings but the end result was a huge bummer. The knowledge they had gained was useless. 

It seemed that every road was blocked, as always.

Obito had been hiding in the shadows ever since it’d become clear that he needed more information before he could decide his next move. 

Kakashi didn’t know it.

But Obito’s mind wandered back to Kakashi more often than he was willing to admit. 

Things between them had changed. Their bond had grown deeper, more complex. They’d become friends, not to mention that there was a physical side to their relationship. A few incidents didn’t make them a couple but some emotions were building up.

In other words, the latest developments were pretty damn horrible news. Obito couldn’t simply brush off the fact that his feelings were growing stronger but he wasn’t going to act on them. They were inconvenient. It was necessary to put them aside for a while.

Ironically, this way of thinking didn’t stop Obito from wondering if these feelings were mutual.

Love had burned down villages, ripped nations apart and shed seas of blood. Nothing about that tremendous force was good. 

Only a true masochist would accept such insanity. Love meant loss and uncertainty, and Obito knew it. He’d begun to lose his grip of himself. 

Even the slightest amount of attachment was destructive in this pitch-black hell and yet, deep longing filled Obito’s heart every time he thought about Kakashi. 

They hadn’t seen each other in weeks since Obito had decided to take some distance. He needed to know what was going on in Konoha but he couldn’t get distracted.

Not until he could be certain that Kakashi was going to avoid the worst. They were in a deep pile of trash, and as long as Kakashi served Konoha, he was in a very delicate position. 

The village didn’t know too much which was why Obito was going to leave before the dawn.

But first, there was one more conversation to be listened to.

Obito wasn’t supposed to hear it but he’d found a decent spot to observe the situation. 

The Fifth was tipsy. Her speech seemed loud and slurring but no one tried to hush her. A common misconception was that Konoha was well guarded. Outsiders weren’t supposed to get in without identifying themselves. 

That didn’t stop anyone from just _appearing_ into the village.

Konoha was weak from within. The windows were too thin, and the Hokage’s office wasn’t the exception to the rule.

With his Sharingan activated, Obito could easily read the visual vibrations. Nothing blocked his view, and the Fifth’s voice was loud enough to be actually heard.

“Shizune, I need another drink,” the Fifth spoke. 

Four people were gathered around her.

A black-haired woman nodded and poured a good bit of sake into the Fifth cup. She was the only one standing. 

The village elders sitting in front of the desk. They were facing away from the window but this didn’t stop Obito from following the conversation. The Sharingan had him covered. 

Those two senile idiots were rarely seen outside of their own comfort zone. 

“Senju-sama, there’s an issue we must to address,” Mitokado opened the conversation. 

The Fifth sighed, annoyed.

“What is it this time?” the last two words were delightful. 

“We’re concerned about possible outside connections,” the answer confirmed what Obito had suspected. 

Kakashi wasn’t dumb. He’d known right from the start that providing classified information to the village was risky. However, he was suicidal and unwilling to get rid of the problems that had been present for ages. 

Sometimes Obito wondered why he even bothered with that ticking time bomb.

The Fifth sighed. So far, she’d kept her mouth shut about Kakashi’s most suspicious actions but she was just another replaceable state marionette and therefore unable to protect Kakashi from T&I forever. Someone else had to do it. 

Obito wasn’t supposed to interfere with the village. He’d sworn that to himself and to Kakashi.

But attachment was a bitch, and Obito wasn’t strong enough to push it aside.

Not anymore.

He’d never been.

*

_The snow keeps falling down._

_Kakashi is accompanying the jinchūriki of the Nine-Tails along with another one of his students and a high-rank shinobi. The rumor has it that the jōnin has the Shodaime’s cells implanted in him._

_It’s getting late, and the group has reached an inn. It is a modest cabin in the middle of nowhere but they’ve walked for hours and seem ready to call it a night._

_The group has been following the Raikage’s steps in order to deliver him a message, and knowing the jinchūriki brat, sparing the Uchiha kid despite the Kumo incident is also on the table._

_Obito watches from a distance how Kakashi exchanges a few words with the other babysitter before glancing around. He suspects that someone is nearby._

_Perhaps it is because of the Sharingan._

_There are times when it aches, reminding Obito of the past. The cursed eye wants to be united with its counterpart. Obito has been able to ignore the sensation until now but tonight the ache is worse than in years. It blurs his vision and rings in his ears._

_Now that the plan is put behind, Obito can be true to himself. He can admit that the connection is there._

_Can he?_

_It would be easy to walk towards the grew Konoha has assigned to watch over the jinchūriki and let them end the misery._

_They’d be fast._

_Obito won’t do it, though. He’s going to die anyway._

_A dozen invisible cords rise up from his core and fasten in his chest. It’s the last warning from Madara. Those who oppose him are going to face an awkwardly gory demise._

_Obito laughs at this._

_He deserves the fate of the wicked._

_Obito’s heart bangs against his rib-cage. The pulse is bounding, it is throbbing all over his body._

_This is Madara’s doing, there’s no doubt about it._

_Sometimes Obito wonders if the same jutsu made Rin jump into her death all these years ago._

_These thoughts have been kept buried for years but Obito doesn’t need to worry about any distractions. He’s finally free to find out the truth about Rin’s death – and everything._

_There are no more goals to achieve._

_Nothing worth focusing on._

_Nothing._

_Obito is tired, exhausted to the bone, and what he feels is more than just physical fatigue. His body may be broken in many ways but Madara designed it to endure. Obito can’t remember the last time he had to rest but now nothing seems more compelling than falling down and never getting up again._

_Obito has taken care of Kabuto and the army of abominations the man created. It took quite a while and it got really messy but the job is done. Now all that’s left to do is seal Zetsu away._

_Then the world can burn or continue existing. It doesn’t matter._

_Kakashi is still talking to the other jōnin. It seems that they’re going to take turns to stay awake, surveying the area._

_Luck has never been Obito’s friend._

_After a while, Kakashi turns around and signals the other man to stay on guard._

_Obito’s chest tightens, and a metallic taste fills the back of his throat and rises to his lips._

_The wait will be miserable._

*

There was a long silence before the Fifth broke it.

“Whatever needs to be done, gets done,” she assured.

The elders turned their heads towards one another and exchanged looks that conveyed much more than words could. They were ready to have the Fifth replaced by someone more fitting to the role which was a problem. Even though the Kages weren’t as powerful as they were said to be, they had the means to make their potential traitors regret the day they were born. 

Kakashi was walking on thin ice.

Obito had always been ready to kill for him, and nothing had changed it but Kakashi made things harder by refusing to act for his own good. He was too self-destructive for that.

The Fifth’s retirement suggested that the poor bastard either had to become her successor or come up with a backup plan to keep himself out of T&I’s reach. 

It was ironic how out of all the people Kakashi had convinced Obito that the world wasn’t the dark hell it had initially looked like.

Obito wasn’t naive enough to think that his feelings were going to change anything. He needed to make his emotions less complicated – to set clear boundaries on them. Besides, Kakashi didn’t toy with such volatile forces on purpose. Usually, he kept away from unpredictability ‘cause he was smarter than he let on. The situation was unfortunate for him, too.

“We need to have a discussion about your successor, lady Fifth,” the elder lady spoke for the first time. 

Obito rolled his eyes. This conversation was bound to be unpleasant but it was also informative.

And since Kakashi wasn’t willing to bend the rules to gain vital knowledge, someone had to do it for him. That idiot was too honorable to listen in on the Fifth’s conversations. 

He was still an idealist even though he denied it and hid it under the mask of indifference.

But those antics were transparent. 

Kakashi wasn’t ready to change. He wanted to serve people, and right now Konoha and the system were his masters. The shinobi system wasn’t going to be crushed any time soon.

Kakashi’s motives were painfully obvious but Obito wasn’t the only one who could read his former comrade like an open book. This ability went both ways. 

Kakashi knew that Obito didn’t want to stand on his way.

Only one mystery remained. What sort of brain malfunction kept Kakashi from taking the next step? He’d made clear that he wanted to fix Konoha from the inside, and even though this way of thinking seemed childish, no one had tried to stop Kakashi from doing that. It was almost like he waited for Obito’s acceptance which was also foolish.

They weren’t lovers and they weren’t meant to cooperate. That hadn’t been the original plan. 

No, Kakashi wasn’t supposed to clean up the mess Obito had made. He should’ve been the Sixth by now instead of being caught between two opposing sides.

The Fifth had been quiet for a way too long.

“I presume we will arrange a meeting?” she finally asked, glancing at the bottle that stood on the table. It seemed like she wanted to gulp down a bucketful of sake.

Obito was starting to get why Kakashi was so fond of the current Kage. 

But mere likability wasn’t good enough. The Fifth needed to confirm that she was still on Kakashi’s side.

And then Obito would take care of the rest. 

“Please, do.”

“I’ll speak to my candidate before the weekend. It might take a day or two,” the Fifth promised. She was good at hiding her nervousness. Her expression hardly changed even though Obito could see a slight twitch in her jaw.

The Sharingan picked up the smallest details. 

“Excellent,” the elders functioned like a hive mind. Both of them got up before stating that they were leaving. “Thank you for your time, Senju-sama.”

A few more polite nods were exchanged before the elders left, leaving the Fifth alone with her assistant.

“You may go home as well, Shizune.”

“Do you want me to send someone over Hatake’s house?”

“We’ll contact him tomorrow,” the Fifth replied. “But there are things I should to do tonight.”

“Understood.”

And with that, the Fifth was all alone.

Obito stayed.

He stayed and watched how the disgraceful state of the Fifth. 

She grabbed the bottle and swigged from it. When the sake was gone, she dug out another bottle from the bottom drawer of her desk.

The night grew darker.

Obito witnessed how the most respected shinobi in the entire village drank, drank and drank until she passed out with a bit of sick dripping down her chin. He wasn’t sure whether he felt pity or disdain but Kakashi was safe tonight.

There was nothing more to be seen. 

*

_Obito has lost track of time. His gaze lingers on the man who’s still guarding the surrounding area. How long has it been?_

_Technically, the man could deliver the message but Obito isn’t in a shape to engage in combat. His vision is fading and his heart beats heavy. He’s sweaty even though it hasn’t stopped snowing. Only dumb, stubborn pride keeps him from falling down on his knees._

_Slow, measured breathing helps a bit but cheap tricks won’t provide a permanent solution._

_Obito has never been so aware of his body but now that the damn thing is failing him, he feels every single flaw and malfunction. The piece of crap has been acting up for years but Obito has managed to keep the ache at bay._

_Weakness is fatal. It can’t show._

_There’s no point in repeating the same old mantra._

_Obito is dying, and he can feel it in his sore muscles and aching bones._

_A shaky breath escapes his lips._

_It’s a hoarse laugh, Obito realizes, as a burning feeling surges up his throat and fills his mouth with a foul, metallic taste._

_Every second increases the risk of being seen by the wrong pair of eyes. Obito has no other choice but to take it. He swallows hard and pulls himself together._

_He needs to focus for a few more moments._

_Time goes on and the snow keeps falling._

_Obito bites his lip, bites it so hard that he should taste blood._

_But the scar tissue is thick and dense, too strong to be broken with teeth._

_The pain behind Obito’s right eye socket has lessened but it’s still there._

_Present._

_Lingering._

_Waiting for the other eye to open._

_Obito has to endure for a bit longer and then it’s over._

_He has nothing left to say to Kakashi. They have a history and they share their vision but it won’t change the fact that Kakashi is worthless. He’s already broken the only promise that has ever mattered. Maybe leaving the fate of the world on his shoulder’s is irresponsible._

_But the truth is that Obito just wants to wash his hands out of the whole mess._

_And a tiny, petty part of him loves the possibility of failure here._

_This absurd reality isn’t really worth saving._

_Yet…_

_The memory of Kakashi’s face gives the resentful spark of anger that Obito needs._

_It hurts to breathe, it hurts to stand still and wait but pure spite makes Obito’s posture straighten up. His limbs stop trembling._

_The weight of the world is a heavy burden to carry._

_Kakashi has fucking earned it. He deserves to know what despair means. He’s got to see what this pitch-black hell is like when he can’t look at it through the veil of detachment._

_Time passes but finally, finally, Obito sees a glimpse of darkness. That’s what the other Sharingan sees when it’s hidden away._

_Kakashi comes outside. He exchanges a couple of words with the other jōnin before giving a small, friendly pat on the man’s shoulder. Then he sends the man to catch some sleep before the sun rises. They seem quite close, and Obito knows about their time serving Danzō and Root._

_These sort of sad drinking buddies seem to be the ultimate reason for Kakashi to view Konoha in such a bright light. He has a sense of duty towards his inner circle when it’s convenient for him._

_And since all Root members are trained to suppress their emotions before they’re turned into perfect killing machines, they must be very convenient acquaintances. No need for worries, no need for actual human interaction. They can take care of themselves._

_This kind of superficiality fits the bill for Kakashi._

_Obito’s chest tightens. His gaze lingers on Kakashi even though his vision is blurry. This makes the ache behind his right eye socket worse again but he’s unable to look away._

_A strange feeling washes over Obito and makes him shiver._

_He can’t name it is but it doesn’t matter._

_Hate, bitterness, endless whys… They are all emotions Obito has exploited many times in the past without feeling such sentiments himself._

_But things change._

_Obito is ready to meet his former comrade._

_He almost wishes that Kakashi will to put him out of his misery once the mask has been lifted up._

_After all, Kakashi does what’s convenient. He knows exactly what weakness looks like, and Obito has never felt as pathetic as now. He can barely move._

_Obito has to concentrate all of his chakra on his heart to keep it beating. Every cell in his body cries for more oxygen, and his legs refuse to function._

_“C’mon,” Obito mutters beneath his breath. Sweat drips down his neck as he forces himself to push forward. A black cloak doesn’t provide much camouflage against the snowy ground, and the area is wide. There’s nowhere to hide, and since genjutsu isn’t an option, the odds of succeeding are poor._

_The plan has sucked from the beginning._

_Obito knows it but he doesn’t care._

_He just wants to enjoy the moment when he can finally unravel the truth to Kakashi and watch the damn liar’s face twist in horror._

_That’s all Obito wants to do before drawing his final breath._

*

Instead of heading back to Kakashi’s place, Obito decided to recollect his thoughts. He walked aimlessly along a narrow alleyway, sticking to the shadows around him. 

Konoha had grown over the years but the basic structure of the village seemed familiar. Every street led to the same gate. There was only one location Obito could think of that was worth seeing for the last time. He’d visited there more frequently than he wanted to admit.

The graveyard was silent as Obito wove between the tombstones. His gaze wandered around the area.

Nobody was to be seen which encouraged Obito to proceed. He kept a low profile since visiting a specific grave was always risky. 

Most of the graves were unkempt but there were a few bouquets of flowers. Obito stopped to pick up a couple of white roses from a mound of a recently dug grave. No one was going to notice that. He made sure to leave plenty of flowers to the scene.

Kakashi had visited Rin earlier and left lilies on her grave. Obito placed the roses next to them without saying a word. He was almost certain that he was alone but _almost_ wasn’t enough. He’d heard many secrets there when he’d been eavesdropping on mourning friends and loved ones.

Plus, Obito didn’t know what to say. He just needed a reminder of what got him back to Konoha in the first place.

He was still angry and disappointed. He hadn’t been able to create a world where Rin could exist.

And he’d left her body behind.

Her grave was empty, and therefore bringing her back was impossible. It was Obito’s fault since he never gave it a thought. He’d known that eternal dreams were too good to be true but he’d ignored his intuition anyway. 

_Sorry_ , Obito didn’t say it aloud. Pathetic apologies didn’t help but there was nothing else to offer.

Was this how Kakashi had felt all along? 

During the years of operating Akatsuki, Obito had dissociated himself from the past. He’d tried to forget his personal history and affairs to adopt a new name and identity. He’d learned to talk and fight like Madara, and eventually, the world had bought that bullshit. 

But despite burning his bridges, Obito had never stopped visiting the graveyard. He’d listened to Kakashi’s endless apologies, feeling a twist in his stomach. 

Obito had told himself that he wasn’t able to feel anger even though all sorts of accusations had filled his mind, and he’d hated Kakashi for it.

A part of him still did but lately, things had become even more complex. Obito felt more than spite and bitterness. He… 

He wasn’t going to define his feelings towards Kakashi. They were more than acquaintances but their relationship didn’t call for a name. Labels seemed meaningless.

The link between them couldn’t be broken but it seemed that Obito was the reason – or at least a part of it – why Kakashi threw away everything. 

Konoha was still a miserable hellhole but Kakashi didn’t seem to mind about it. When he walked down the streets, he gained many admiring looks from other shinobi. This was rare, especially for someone whose father had been called a traitor. That reputation tended to stick but sometimes exceptions were being made. 

People associated Kakashi with qualities such as loyalty, solidarity and the ability to strive towards common goals. The vast majority of Konoha accepted the idea that Kakashi was going to be the Sixth. His former students were genuinely excited about it, and some of his fellow jōnin seemed to support appreciate him or what he did. 

The life Kakashi had in Konoha was as good as it could get.

Obito had been watching this from afar and concluded that he wasn’t a part of it.

Respect was a rare occurrence in Konoha. It was hard to gain and easy to lose, and Obito was stealing it away from Kakashi by allowing him to stray between him and the village. 

Kakashi had made many questionable decisions but the worst one was letting Obito go. That had been an ignorant mistake. 

The damage was repairable but Kakashi needed a reality check. He had to get rid of everything that could be used against him. It was the harsh truth in politics. 

Obito glanced at Rin’s grave for the last time. 

She’d never had a chance to live long enough to tell what she wanted. All the guesses about it were pointless. One thing was certain, though. 

Rin had always wished for the best for the people she’d known and she’d been Kakashi’s friend. 

She’d be disappointed in the mess Obito had left behind, and she would’ve probably been horrified about Kakashi’s current situation. 

Obito couldn’t change the world, nor could he guarantee that Kakashi was going to live past his thirties. 

These sort of promises couldn’t be made in this bitch of a universe.

But Obito could try to prevent the worst-case scenario. He could help Kakashi explain things.

It wasn’t much but it was better than nothing at all. 

_I guess this is the goodbye_ , Obito thought as he turned away. His mind was still in a weird place and his thoughts were running wild. 

This wasn’t the calm and collected mood he’d hoped to get. 

However, a slight breeze ran through the air. It wasn’t an answer but Obito took it as one anyway. 

This was beyond stupid but Obito’s heart felt a bit lighter as he headed back towards the residential area of the village. 

*

_The snow grates beneath Obito’s feet. He doesn’t want Kakashi to alert his companions which is why he must proceed cautiously and appear as non-threatening as possible. The walk is the riskiest part._

_The most stupid one._

_There’s no way to make sure that no one interferes with the reunion even though it isn’t entirely idiotic to assume that Kakashi wants to estimate the situation before choosing a course of action. He’s always been the carefully calculating one._

_Right now, his mission is to keep the jinchūriki safe which means that his first priority is to buy some time for the jinchūriki and his team to escape if an enemy approaches._

_This is something to keep in mind._

_Freezing air fills Obito’s lungs. His breath feels cold and wet underneath the mask, and the collar covering his mouth is soggy from all the moisture._

_His breath is too heavy._

_Each step takes more and more effort._

_Obito doesn’t remember the last time he felt so weak, so mortal. He hates how his body is breaking apart, mocking the idea of moving. It refuses to cooperate but Obito pushes further. He ignores the pain and reminds himself of how close he is to his goal._

_Kakashi hasn’t noticed him._

_Obito’s heart skips yet another beat. The artificial flesh of his right arm feels weirdly numb compared to the rest of his body. The other parts of the patchwork are burning._

_Burning so bad._

_Obito can barely keep his balance but every step gets him closer and he refuses to stumble despite his trembling legs._

_He limps as he keeps walking towards the last person he wants to see._

_It’s the sound of Obito’s feet that alerts Kakashi._

_Finally._

_Kakashi lifts up his hitai-ate to locate the intruder with the Sharingan._

_Their eyes meet in an intense stare, and Kakashi draws out his kunai but he doesn’t move. He knows that the best thing he can do is to determine the level of threat._

_Though this time it’s useless._

_Obito has no intentions to cause any harm to the jinchūriki. Admittedly, he’s entertained by the idea. He should’ve considered sending a message to Minato before leaving the world and descending to the deepest depths of hell._

_Too bad his time is almost up._

_But perhaps Minato’s brat deserves to live. He’ll regret making Nagato betray Akatsuki once he’s old enough. Once he realizes that there’s nothing to save the world from its misery._

_The idea of karmic revenge energizes Obito and gives him childish satisfaction. He always wanted the best for the world but…_

_He’s too. Fucking. Tired._

_“Madara,” Kakashi’s voice is stern. He glances around but his allies are sleeping inside the inn, completely oblivious to the latest occurrences. “What do you want?” he’s stiff. It’s a miracle that his adrenaline hasn’t taken over yet. He’s got the look of a shinobi in his eyes. He’s ready to die._

_Such admirable stubbornness._

_Kakashi has grown a backbone and it’s almost adorable._

_The realization brings a bitter taste in Obito’s mouth. It’s so sour that a light chuckle escapes his lips and he does nothing to suppress it. He’s done with acting._

_“To talk,” Obito replies with Madara’s voice. He doesn’t have a clear memory of the sound of his own one. The words almost got stuck in his throat and he realizes that his tone was a bit off. Madara’s voice shouldn’t be that raspy._

_Kakashi stands still._

_Obito takes a deep breath. He can hear his heart. It rings in his ears when all of a sudden, the pulse gets steady. It’s loud. There’s a suffocating feeling in Obito’s chest and he grows even more aware of the fact that these must be his final moments._

_Kakashi has heard the change in the voice, too. He doesn’t move but his pupils grow wider and he grits his teeth. The realization crawls over his face. It makes his eyes darken._

_There’s something very weird about his expression._

_Dread._

_It’s absolute dread._

_Kakashi represents all sort of things but he isn’t dumb._

_He’s already figured out that the chances of two really similar Mangekyō existing without an explanation are pretty damn low._

_And now this slight, hardly audible glitch has happened._

_Kakashi knows that he isn’t standing face to face with Madara Uchiha._

_It goes against logic, and even though many people are willing to believe that Madara has come back from the dead, Kakashi isn’t superstitious enough to buy that shit. His brutal rationality has made him a wild card but he’s refused to think about the likelihood of Obito being alive. Guilt has been his only downfall._

_“Who are you?” Kakashi shifts his weight like a prey preparing to run away from a beast._

_And then the weirdest thing happen._

_Despite everything, the fact that Kakashi knows the truth, at least deep down, makes Obito’s lips twitch up and up and up until he realizes that he’s actually smiling. And it’s not one of those horrendous grins he’d flash seconds before killing an enemy. No, this one feels different. It’s an actual, genuine smile._

_Not a joyful one but it does count._

_Obito won’t name the new feeling. He hasn’t felt so calm and peaceful in years, and that’s weirdly soothing. He brings his hand down to the edge of his mask._

_Kakashi watches in horror as Obito starts to lift it up._

_“Don’t,” it’s hard to tell if Kakashi said it aloud but his eyes are begging Obito to stop._

_Obito can’t really blame him._

_The truth always has an ugly face._

_“No… You can’t be…” Kakashi is frozen in his place. “Please, don’t be…” his words don’t make much sense._

_There’s another sharp twitch in Obito’s chest. It’s hard to breathe._

_This is it, the real final warning from Madara._

_The old trash bag can roll in his grave all he wants._

_“You need to kill Zetsu,” the words sound weird and foreign._

_Obito’s heart stop._

_But it’s done._

_“No…”_

_Obito sees thick, vivid strings of muted colors._

_And abyss._

_His heart restarts, beats rapidly. He tells Kakashi to seal the damn thing away before it can find the last Uchiha brat._

_And then…_

_Then his legs give way._

_Kakashi says something but the bounding of the failing heart overpowers everything except for the echo of Obito’s own death rattle._

_It hurts._

_Kakashi’s arms are around him._

_“No,” a silent beg makes its way through the unintelligible noises. “Please, no, don’t…”_

_“Kakashi,” Obito breathes out. He feels hot blood surging up his throat and he’s choking._

_Kakashi should just stop – stop caring now that it’s already late. He never bothered to look for Obito’s body._

_Yet the fucking hypocrite begs Obito to stay awake, to stay alive. He dares to show that there’s a part of him that somehow cares about a ghost from his past and that’s the biggest cosmic joke._

_“You gotta stop it,” the words escape from Obito’s mouth. “Zetsu…”_

_He doesn’t care about the fate of the world._

_It can’t be saved, and Kakashi certainly can’t do a thing to stop the world from burning._

_It’s the lesson Obito should’ve already learned and somehow it seems only natural that he hasn’t. He tells Kakashi to find Zetsu for the final time as his heart finally gives in and shatters, shatters into dozens of pieces._

_This must be it – the most pathetic way to die._


	4. Chapter 4

_Light._

_Obito opens his eyes – both the original and the stolen one – and sees light. It is pleasantly dim and cool._

_The ache in his chest is still there but it’s different. This pain isn’t sharp._

_It’s subtle, dull and constant._

_It might be a sign of survival._

_The unstable pulse is replaced by a steady but heavy heartbeat._

_The world seems blurry and distorted but Obito can sense the presence of someone else nearby. That aura feels familiar, almost comforting. This isn’t the first time he’s felt it._

_But once the dizziness starts to dissipate, the reality of the situation begins to dawn on Obito._

_He’s been in deep shit before but not to this depth._

_Kakashi is an enemy, and right now, Obito is entirely at his mercy._

_Great._

_“So, you did wake up,” Kakashi is blunt and stern but there’s a cautious undertone in his voice. “Don’t try anything stupid.”_

_A dry, hoarse laugh escapes Obito’s lips as he props himself on his elbows. He’s barely able to support his own weight but he’s already shown too much weakness. It’s time to stop being a wuss._

_Kakashi has a weird look in his eye._

_Everything is still foggy but contempt is a very easy emotion to recognize. It’s written all over Kakashi’s face._

_Obito rolls his eyes. He’s surprised that he can do it._

_He should’ve been blinded by now._

_“What can I say?” the words come out weird. They’re hoarse and raspy. “Wasn’t really my intention,” this isn’t what Madara sounds like. His voice is gone and lost._

_Kakashi is silent for a while. He looks at Obito almost as if admonishing him._

_“I know.”_

_“Are you going to enlighten me? What does Konoha want?” Obito can’t bring himself to care about that but he’s trapped, hurting and pathetic. He might as well entertain the idea of talking. There’s nothing left to lose._

_This isn’t to say that there’s something to be achieved._

_There isn’t._

_Kakashi’s face twists._

_Obito flashes a smile that exposes his teeth. The question doesn’t please Kakashi._

_Well, too bad._

_Good._

_No, that’s fucking perfect._

_Hilarious._

_Kakashi has earned a dose of dubious feedback after going through the trouble of saving an almost dead man to acquire a new pet. Obito knows damn well how unfortunate his current position is but that doesn’t stop him from biting the hand that feeds him. All consequences are insignificant ‘cause this life is hardly appealing._

_Clever thinking doesn’t seem worth the effort._

_However, Obito is curious enough to glance around._

_He’s been laid down on a narrow bed. The room is surrounded by wooden walls, and the window frames are thick._

_It’s still snowing._

_Kakashi is sitting next to Obito, observing the situation silently. At least it’s beginning to make some sense._

_They haven’t gone anywhere._

_“Oh,” Obito comments. “You haven’t reached Konoha yet,” he decides to test the theory._

_Kakashi refuses to reply which is saying a lot. He hasn’t been given any further instructions._

_Konoha’s marionettes like him hate to act without knowing what their higher-ups want. That’s why they freeze when they’re being pressed. They can’t think on their own, and in that regard, Kakashi isn’t unique._

_He sure knows how to be disappointingly reserved, though._

_“Well?” Obito demands._

_“One of my students – Sakura – is a quite talented medic,” Kakashi explains. His answer is purposefully bad but vagueness is less frustrating than absolute silence. “I thought she’d specialize in genjutsu but I guess that wasn’t her calling. She says that you’re lucky to be alive.”_

_Obito doesn’t feel that lucky._

_“So, what’s the catch?” he asks instead of telling that._

_Kakashi glances at him again. The blank stare is openly condescending. It implies that now’s not the time to be difficult and bring up the obvious expectations._

_But the thing is that Obito has never wanted to be saved. He doesn’t feel like being grateful for force-fed pieces of fake mercy._

_“You’re free to go whenever you feel like it,” Kakashi claims._

_“Right,” Obito comments. “So, you’re telling me that nothing stops me from going after your student and squeezing answers out of her?” he just spews whatever nonsense enters his brain but he isn’t going to try that._

_Trying requires caring._

_“That’s one way to put it,” Kakashi doesn’t flinch but his brow furrow ever so slightly. “Though I seriously doubt that you’re able to do anything in a while,” he adds._

_He’s right. Or at least he has a fair point._

_Obito is absolutely drained and that he can’t even sit without sweating. It’s his pride that prevents him from collapsing, not his strength._

_When Obito says nothing, Kakashi drops his personal mute act._

_“There are some things you might want to consider,” he says. “Right now, the student believes that you’re someone who’s worked for Konoha for years and that your mission was classified. She doesn’t know who you are and thinks that you got injured by Madara.”_

_“That’s bullshit,” Obito says. He isn’t sure what makes him so argumentative since he doesn’t give an actual damn about the plans that are in store for him._

_It’s probably boredom. Seems like he’s going to be bedridden for a while._

_“Not everyone is a pathological liar,” Kakashi points out. The patronizing tone suggests there should be guilt._

_And that Obito should respond with anything but a cuss._

_But they both know that regret isn’t going to happen._

_“Fuck you.”_

_Kakashi sighs._

_This is the final chance to dissolve the tension._

_Obito turns his gaze away and fixes his eyes on the wooden wall. He doesn’t have anything more to say._

_He won’t beg for Kakashi to reassure that there’s no need to worry, he’s not that desperate for dishonesty and not quite childish enough to believe in such lies._

_“Alright then,” Kakashi stands up to leave. “You decide how much all of this bothers you but right now you’re not very high on anyone’s priority list,” he concludes, glancing at Obito for the one last time._

_Peripheral vision is a bitch._

_Once Kakashi has turned around, he doesn’t look back. Why would he? In the best case scenario, he’s actually going to do something about Zetsu and that should keep him busy for a while._

_The door makes a soft thud when it shuts._

_And that’s when Obito realizes that he’s truly become a nobody._

_Someone too irrelevant to even be eliminated._

*

Konoha hadn’t sent Kakashi on a new mission along with his team. Obito had learned it the other day when he’d been watching over the village. 

This seemed logical. The Fifth didn’t want to risk the life of her favorite successor candidate, and the other higher-ups accepted her reasoning. There were only so many shinobi who were both alive and somewhat credible leaders.

Kakashi didn’t leave the house that often. He’d visited the graveyard on a regular basis, just like he always did, but that was about it. 

It wasn’t too surprising to find him at his home, sitting on the couch and reading a book. 

“You could still consider knocking,” Kakashi’s tone implied that he wasn’t surprised by an uninvited guest which was fair. A pattern was beginning to emerge in these meetings.

Their looks met.

There was an amused glimmer in the dark gray eye, making the gaze seem sweet and honest. 

“Right,” Obito wasn’t going to have this conversation again. He had other things in mind. 

The atmosphere felt strange. It was warm and inviting, welcoming Obito back.

Back where?

It wasn’t easy to push that question aside.

“So, about that scroll, it’s…”

“A family tree,” Obito cut Kakashi off. “I know.”

Ōtsutsuki clan’s relations were barely a clue.

Kakashi furrowed his brow.

“Someone’s well informed,” he remarked. “Why are you here then?” even though the tone of the inquiry was nonchalant, there was a mild, wishful undertone. It turned out that false hope had a note.

Kakashi didn’t really seem to think that this was just a casual reunion just _because_ but despite that, he was happy to see Obito again and genuinely so.

Obito swallowed hard. He realized that a similar feeling was raising its head inside of him, filling him with doubts and wishes he couldn’t afford to have. Some of them were appealing, others were plain confusing. Essentially, a part of him insisted that he was back home and that he didn’t want to leave, not without Kakashi.

But sentimental matters had to wait. They weren’t the reason why Obito was there. He had to tell the latest news and then… 

There was a proposal to be made. 

Kakashi wasn’t going to like it but he wasn’t the type to ignore unpleasant information and suggestions meant to turn the odds in his favor. He was a listener at the core.

“You have to turn me in,” Obito said after concluding that there was no point in sugarcoating stuff. “Make it seem like catching a traitor was always your intention,” Konoha loved to use stories like that for propaganda.

“What?”

“You heard me. The Fifth will invite you over to her office tomorrow and you’re going to meet the elders.”

Kakashi blinked.

“And what does this have to do with your sudden self-destructive mood?” Kakashi’s voice remained calm but he put his book down and stared Obito straight to the eye. 

“You’re not that stupid,” Obito replied. “Once you’re officially the Fifth’s successor, you don’t want to have any past connections that can be held against you,” he humored the idea that Kakashi was an idiot anyway. It seemed that Kakashi wanted to play dumb. 

“I know,” Kakashi admitted. He stood up, leaving his book on the couch and walking over to Obito. “I know,” he repeated as he placed his hand on Obito’s shoulder.

His touch felt warm and protective.

Comforting.

Obito inhaled before he spoke.

“Then you know it’s the only…” 

“No,” it was Kakashi’s turn to cut off Obito. 

He lifted up the mask Obito was wearing as the firm _no_ echoed in the air.

It wasn’t a grand gesture but there was affectionate compassion to the touch, and no matter how hard Obito tried to brush it off, he couldn’t. 

He liked it, he really did. He closed his eyes and took a shaky breath. He’d prepared for an awkward encounter and he’d known that Kakashi wasn’t going to buy the idea without questioning it first but this sort of gentleness seemed to get Obito off guard. 

Again.

This touch was powerful, haunting. 

Obito froze in his place as he felt Kakashi’s fingers running over his cheek. He had to pull himself together before it was too late.

The battle was lost before it had begun, though.

Obito didn’t push Kakashi away when he was pulled into a gentle hug. Instead, he wrapped his arms around Kakashi’s waist and held on tight, giving in to the sensation of being close to the only person who still mattered.

An embrace wasn’t supposed to be that deep. It was merely a vague expression of good will, nothing more.

And yet Obito was mesmerized by it. He was weak against such intimacy even when it wasn’t that strong.

“Why are you like this?” Obito asked after a long pause. 

“Like what?”

_Caring._

Obito didn’t say it aloud. The conversation was already going sideways.

The hug got tighter.

“This is going to backfire and you know it,” Obito mumbled against Kakashi’s neck. “So, I’m offering you a decent option. Just take it,” his voice was far from demanding, and Kakashi’s breath tickled his skin.

“Konoha isn’t the only option,” Kakashi stated, and Obito wished that he’d heard wrong. 

“You’re ruining your life,” Obito said as he sank lower into Kakashi’s arms. 

“That’s a bit rich coming from you,” Kakashi disclosed. He wasn’t wrong but he was missing the point.

“You said you will change Konoha – you want to fix this hellhole,” Obito reminded.

“And you believe in that all of the sudden?” Kakashi asked. He pulled away for a bit to cup Obito’s cheeks in his hands. Their eyes met in a long, weird gaze where time seemed to stand still. 

Obito bit his lip. He’d spent years telling nothing but lies and yet, it was painfully obvious that he wasn’t going to convince Kakashi that this was the case. They knew each other well, well enough to see through the bullshit.

“That’s not important,” Obito went with the truth. “I won’t be the reason why you throw everything away.”

“Why is that?” Kakashi asked. “Guilt?”

“It’s not about that,” Obito replied. “Your life doesn’t seem half bad.”

“Liar,” Kakashi accused softly.

“No, you have a decent reputation and even some comrades who are alive,” which was more than what an average doormat of Konoha had.

Hells, there were people who didn’t even dare to dream about such circumstances. 

Even though Kakashi was oblivious to it, he had connections. His former students kept visiting him whenever they were around, not to mention that Kakashi was invited for a few drinks by his other comrades every now and then. Those factors were to be considered along with many other elements. 

Kakashi was going to have a chance to stay safe.

Kages had relatively easy lives compared to ordinary shinobi since they were given the privilege of working from behind closed doors. Their well-being wasn’t at stake every day because they were actively protected – protected by weaker individuals. 

It was twisted and gross but when it came down to Kakashi’s life, no ideology could compete against it.

Obito had never claimed that he wasn’t selfish in that regard. 

And he wasn’t able to guarantee that Kakashi was going to get through this parade of chaos without some sacrifices. 

“Maa, don’t I get to say anything here?” Kakashi asked. He pulled his stupid half-mask down before pressing a tiny kiss on Obito’s temple. 

“Once you stop being stupid,” Obito promised. He leaned into the comforting touch and promised himself that he’d pull himself together in a second.

“Just out of curiosity,” Kakashi tilted his head and brushed his thumb over Obito’s bottom lip, “did it ever occur to you that perhaps I don’t want to sell you out to secure my own position?”

Obito let out a dry, joyless laugh.

“Don’t you get it? Now’s your last chance to get out of this mess.”

“We’ll figure out something.”

_Something_ wasn’t good enough when time was running out.

They didn’t have days to come up with a decent plan.

They had mere hours.

Kakashi didn’t budge. 

“You do realize that we need to do it before tomorrow?” Obito asked. 

“We’ll do it,” Kakashi agreed. He looked deep into Obito’s eyes to signal that he wasn’t willing to consider Obito’s plan. 

It was evident that the topic had to be put aside for a while. Besides, Obito could always take care of things on his own. He didn’t need Kakashi approval for it – he just needed to get the bastard out of this.

“So, how long have you been in Konoha?” Kakashi changed the subject.

_Long enough._

“How is that relevant?” Obito countered. He wasn’t going to lie. Kakashi already knew that Obito was aware of a lot of things that were going on around the village.

“You could’ve come here,” Kakashi claimed and looked at Obito from head to toe. “You look pretty rough.”

It was true.

Obito had been hiding, following and watching Konoha day after day without rest, and it showed. He responded with a crooked, apologetic smile as the observant gaze lingered on him, studying every detail with care.

“Did you roll in a pile of leaves by any chance?” Kakashi asked as he took a frond off Obito’s shoulder but the admonishment was said with good intentions. 

“Shut up,” Obito muttered but he wasn’t too offended by the action. He’d never received much kind attention which was why he wasn’t sure how to react. 

It felt dangerously nice. 

“You seem to know the Fifth’s current whereabouts,” Kakashi wasn’t exactly asking anything but Obito decided to answer anyway.

“She’s at her office and seems to stay there for a while.”

“Is she passed out?” Kakashi was well-informed, too. 

“Yeah, but you weren’t supposed to know that.”

“Let’s just say that I’ve seen a couple of incidents,” Kakashi disclosed. His eyes were still fixed on Obito’s clothing. “You could use a shower.”

“And you could be nicer but you aren’t,” Obito complained. 

“Seems we’re all victims here,” Kakashi said. The amused glimmer in his gaze softened his features and made the shadows on his face disappear. “Consider finding a better spot the next time you disrespect the Fifth’s privacy.”

Was that teasing?

The next time wasn’t going to happen. They both knew it but this was one of those moments when a little bit of pretense was fine.

“It wasn’t that bad,” Obito insisted. “Besides, I had to be sure that nothing unexpected was gonna happen.”

“Of course you did,” Kakashi murmured and rubbed his hand over Obito’s shoulder. “But it sounds like we could utilize this time to make an actual plan. And maybe something else,” his tone shifted from thoughtful to impish. 

Obito swallowed. 

“I…”

“A little bit of nice won’t kill you,” Kakashi maintained. His nonchalant tone was back but the mischievous spark in his eye remained, drawing Obito closer and closer to him until their eyes were and their lips met in a tender kiss.

And this was how Obito was convinced to stay.

Moments later, he stepped into the shower, still captivated by the echo of sweet nothings.

The warmth of Kakashi’s skin wasn’t washed away along with dirt and grime. It waited patiently for Obito to catch the last bits of it and recover its remains.

Steam filled the room as Obito stood motionless, trying to recollect his thoughts. It’d been a while ever since the last time he’d bathed, and admittedly, being able to do that in peace was a luxury he hadn’t had in a long time. 

Thousands of drops dripped down Obito’s sides, and his mind faded to weird places. He kept his eyes closed and dragged his fingers across his chest. 

A loving, gratuitous touch had been there a minute ago. Obito tried to remember it.

The feeling.

But the reality of the situation was also present. It had been hiding, waiting for a moment of solitude.

The artificial skin felt weird. The texture was firm, so firm felt almost unnatural. The numbness in the prosthetic arm was depressingly evident, and Obito realized once again why he hated that body, that broken piece of crap. It was weird and alienating, it was trash.

Nothing had been suggested but Obito wasn’t born yesterday. He’d wanted to see where things would go and he knew that Kakashi had wanted something similar. 

They’d already had their fair share of intimacy. They didn’t speak about the scars but the way Kakashi touched them made clear that he didn’t mind them.

Kindness didn’t change the fact that this body was severely flawed, though. 

And those weaknesses went deep. Obito couldn’t tell if his body would work. 

Deep inside, he yearned to be touched but he was just too damn injured for it. He couldn’t even do it right alone.

Slowly, Obito opened his eyes and forced himself to look at the miserable representation of his physical being. He’d had his scars for so long that he couldn’t imagine himself without them, but they weren’t pleasant to look at. The old wounds were deep and swollen, and the mismatched tone of the skin made matters worse. Claiming otherwise would’ve been lying.

Obito ran his hands down the length of his torso and paused at his lower abdomen. 

A vertical scar mark through his chest and stopped at the hip. The moisture in the air made the scar tissue darken. 

Obito inched his fingers down until the tips connected with the soft hair but he didn’t bother confirming what he already knew. He was aroused to a certain extent.

The dreadful sight wasn’t worth the time and effort, he decided, as he jerked his gaze up and fixed his stare to the gray tile wall. He wished he had something better than this to offer.

The warmth of Kakashi’s touch had faded away. 

The previous light, loving touches were fresh in his mind. 

This could lead to wrong conclusions.

Obito grew increasingly frustrated with his shortcomings. He’d bitten more than he could chew after letting things get intimate.

He didn’t have any false assumptions about his physical state. All of this could end up in disappointment and hurt, and the world was already force-feeding bitter pills without anyone actively trying to tempt the gods. 

Obito had allowed himself to think about all sorts of absurdities long enough.

Besides, his stupid junk of a body had already failed him.

There was a knock on the door.

“I brought you a towel,” Kakashi informed. “It’s on the doorknob.”

Obito muttered something that resembled “thanks” and cursed his own mind. His thoughts and emotions were conflicting, taunting him with arbitrary energy. The will to dissociate was clashing against the need to feel connected. 

Kakashi’s unwillingness to get rid of unconventional things was becoming a problem. He’d admitted it and yet, he discarded the most logical solution. And now… 

Now the idiot wanted to make love with Obito.

He’d said it just before Obito had closed the bathroom door. 

It was odd.

Obito turned the water colder, shivering with a chill.

After a few more minutes of freezing discomfort, he turned off the shower and stepped out. This situation was a huge mess, there was no denying it. The conversation with Kakashi was far from over, and the thought of it was freaking Obito out. He had yet to get a grip of himself.

And foolish wishes were emerging.

Kakashi had said that Konoha wasn’t the only option.

Obito didn’t dare to think about this any further. 

He could think about it later in his death cell. 

Later.

It was always going to be _later_. 

Obito slid the bathroom door open and grabbed the towel hung on the doorknob. He dried himself off and glanced at the pile of clothes he’d left on the floor. Everything was covered in dust and dirt. Stuff like that didn’t matter but… Obito pulled the towel tighter around him. He cared about appearing somewhat attractive to Kakashi.

It was stupid and borderline petty given the circumstances. 

But thinking about Kakashi made Obito remember the way he had felt when they’d shared a kiss for the first time in days. The tension between them had been real, almost tangible. It’d gone much deeper than just easing loneliness. 

The connection was still there, and knowing it soothed the ache of being torn apart by two separate wills. 

Obito left his clothes on the floor and got out of the bathroom.

As he entered the living room, Kakashi was back to his book. Whether he was actually reading it was debatable. 

His gaze was lifted slowly to Obito, and it lingered there for quite a while.

“I should probably borrow some clothes,” Obito mumbled beneath his breath. The dim lights were kind to his exposed state but that didn’t stop him from being awkwardly aware of it.

“Should you?” Kakashi asked. His eye swept across Obito’s skin. It never narrowed in disgust even though the scars stood out fuchsia and angry even in the dim light. 

Kakashi refused to acknowledge that. All Obito could read was a genuine spark of curiosity. 

He swallowed hard and let out a silent, hesitant laugh.

But Kakashi wasn’t kidding. He stood up and walked over to Obito with light steps and a wicked smile on his lips. Seconds later, Obito felt them against his own. His heart was raising and his body was tingling with a sizzling feeling. 

This was a mistake, Obito concluded before he flung himself to Kakashi and stopped thinking altogether. Their arms tangled around each other’s bodies, exploring the rises and the curves.

The towel dropped to the floor with a soft thud but it didn’t matter, no one was going to pick it up.

Not now. 

Obito let out an involuntary moan as his hips clashed against Kakashi’s. He wanted this, wanted Kakashi to touching him down there even if it was selfish.

“Bedroom?” Kakashi asked as they finally pulled away from the heated kiss to catch some air. His face was flushed with a glow. It seemed that he’d enjoyed it, too. 

Obito didn’t resist.

He responded by pressing a light, approving kiss on Kakashi’s cheek, enjoying the warmth he felt on that stupidly flawless skin.

He’d ripped Kakashi’s shirt off before the bedroom.

“You’re absolutely gorgeous,” Kakashi murmured as he pushed Obito onto the bed and pinned him tight against the mattress.

Obito was too out of breath to respond.

This was like their first night all over again. 

Except maybe this time… 

Obito’s eyes were open and through his lashes, he saw Kakashi’s gaze – his graceful figure moving above him, the moonlight leaking through the cracks of the blinds and photographs on the window ledge. 

Kakashi wasn’t really going to leave that life behind for this, was he? 

Slowly, he straddled Obito and reached down, kissing away every doubt and whimper. He breathed out so many whispers of hushed words. They were meaningless nonsense, stupid reassurances about how everything was okay. They were confessions of guilt – guilt and love. Those weren’t to be taken seriously since stuff like that was to be expected. 

People told all kinds of lies when they were being intimate. 

Obito squeezed his eyes shut and ran his hands down Kakashi’s hips, thumbs hooking the band of his underwear.

The awareness about the consequences grew. 

Kakashi was gentle – he’d been patient and kind right from the start without any rational explanation. 

A dozen kisses were pressed against Obito’s chest, and steady, soft strokes got him hard, making him tremble inside with a rising need for more. 

“So gorgeous,” Kakashi’s breath was warm and tickling. Obito’s toes curled and his back arched against the bed. 

Whatever Kakashi was doing felt amazing. He kept going, cocooning Obito with his body and obliging him with long caresses.

So gentle… 

Obito’s hands were shaking as he slid them all the way down. 

Would they feel cold against Kakashi’s skin? 

This wasn’t the right moment to think about such matters. 

Obito realized that he’d paused.

He needed to keep going.

Kakashi didn’t need a disappointment right now. 

There was a glitch in Obito’s brain. A flash of moonlight caught his closed eye. He saw the damn photographs the window ledge.

He saw more than that.

Images.

They were just blurry motions from the past days – memories of him watching Kakashi from afar. 

It seemed like a life that didn’t need an outsider’s interference.

And yet, Obito was in it.

He felt Kakashi’s finger around his leaking member, petting it with long, gentle strokes. The bastard had to be a masochist, he’d always been a way too forgiving. 

Obito felt a lump in his throat. He’d blamed for Kakashi for letting Rin die and watched him wallowing in guilt without ever even considering the option of confronting him. 

And now Kakashi was touching Obito like a lover. 

It was pretty much the last thing he was supposed to do.

Kakashi’s hand moved up and down, pulling out poorly muffled cries from deep within Obito. The caresses were slow. Everything about them promised that there was no need to worry about how long it would take to finish. Being touched like that was overwhelming. 

Obito held his breath and tried to calm down. He’d give something in return, he just needed a few seconds.

That was a lie.

The heated feeling was fading away. Instead, there was remorse. It dug up the past and threw the ugliest of it in Obito’s face.

He had never made up for his own mistakes. 

Never even tried and despite it, Kakashi wanted to take care of Obito – to make him feel incredible.

“Something wrong?” Kakashi asked when he noticed that there was no response to his strokes. They felt nice, they really did but Obito was losing his ability to focus, and his flesh was too numb. He couldn’t keep it up without concentrating on the act.

His body had failed him. 

Nothing new there.

Obito bit his lip and forced himself to open his eyes to meet Kakashi’s gaze. 

Kakashi had stopped.

“I just… I’m sorry,” Obito muttered. He’d hardly even remembered how being embarrassed felt like but a heavy, mortifying feeling washed over him as he realized how pathetic this performance was. 

Kakashi rolled down next to Obito and pressed a tiny, reassuring kiss on his cheek.

“These things happen,” Kakashi stated, calm as always. He studied Obito from the corner of his eye before he spoke. “Can I hold you?”

He was unbelievable. 

“Why, what’s wrong with you anyway?” Obito questioned with a low voice. “You don’t owe me. Just stop being so damn sorry for me,” at least he had a backbone and said it. 

Their eyes were locked together.

Silence filled the air like an obnoxious melody. The absence of any sound was loud, so loud that even an eye blink was a nice disruption. 

“What makes you think I feel that way?” Kakashi asked.

“Why else would you try so hard?”

There was another pause but it was lighter than the previous one.

And then there was a smile. 

It wasn’t the happiest one, quite the opposite. The expression looked almost shy.

“I like you,” Kakashi said. “It’s as simple as that.”

Obito was dumbfounded. He wasn’t sure what answer he’d been looking for but that lame, foolish, sweet reasoning seemed flawed. 

It didn’t fit.

“Why?” Obito asked after realizing that he wasn’t going to come up with anything better than that. He hadn’t been exactly the easiest ally to deal with. It had taken some time before he’d even become one.

Something about Kakashi’s presence seemed to melt away Obito’s cautiousness.

The conversation was heading in a weird direction. The sudden change in the atmosphere made it clear. 

Kakashi pulled himself up into a sitting position but he didn’t break the eye contact. He laid his hand on Obito’s shoulder and traced his fingers up and down the half-numb arm. The warmth of his skin felt dangerously nice. 

Obito inhaled. He was still waiting for an answer to his question but a part of him was ready to drop it. 

There was still some time to enjoy the moment.

It didn’t matter if it wasn’t real. 

“I can’t explain it,” Kakashi decided to reply. He didn’t have to but he did it anyway. “Everything seems easier when you are around.”

It was a familiar feeling. Obito got it around Kakashi, too. 

But Kakashi was a decent human being. Sure, he was cynical but that was to be expected after witnessing the worst sort of bullshit the life had to offer. Yet, he’d never given up all hope.

Not completely. 

Some arguments favoring a reasonable amount of optimism had been made. Many of them were easy to discredit since they were childish best-case scenarios but there were times when Kakashi’s determination made the world seem a little less hellish realm. 

Obito wasn’t going to believe in change overtime. The founding ideas of the shinobi system were weak, so the entire system was fragile.

Kakashi saw potential in it. According to him, fixing things was worth considering before demolishing entire structures. Obito would never agree with that but he was willing to admit that all the past attempts for this approach were thin. 

This sort of thinking felt soothing.

Obito, on the other hand, had nothing too inspirational to offer. Life had left him jaded and miserable, and his body was in such a sorry state that there wasn’t much physical thrill to be had from it.

None of these details were new to Kakashi. He’d just decided to forget about them. The only logical reason for this was guilt but no matter how hard Obito tried to find a proof of it, he couldn’t. The dark gray eye glimmered in the soft moonlight, reflecting reassuring patience. 

“I don’t get you,” Obito concluded and transferred his gaze to the ceiling. He counted the panels and swallowed. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to understand Kakashi.

Big emotions were draining and treacherous. They’d ruined lives, burned down villages and made entire nations disappear overnight. 

Obito didn’t want to make Kakashi climb up that mountain of trash but it was too late for regrets.

“I think you do,” Kakashi confirmed this. “But if you don’t, let’s make it clear: Konoha isn’t that high on my priority list,” he stated.

Obito rolled his eyes but smiled weakly as he felt almost a stubborn kiss on his forehead.

He minded it a lot less than he cared to admit.

And for the first time, he stayed for the night.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, it's been a while but this is it, the final chapter! I hope y'all are excited to read it. This has been such a nice project. Lol, this chapter became a lot smuttier than I anticipated but maybe that's a good thing? I mean, I was aiming for some angsty smut!

The hardest part of faking one’s death was staging a realistic scene. Kakashi didn’t have a body to leave behind. It was a challenge, but not a problem. This apartment was going to be set on fire. The post mortem investigation would have to conclude that the corpse had been turned to ash. 

Kakashi had already written a letter clarifying some things. It was going to be left on the empty mass grave with Obito’s name on it. It read that they’d finally get to catch up.

Many mysteries got solved when somebody inspected the cemetery, and this was common knowledge. People spoke and wrote to the dead too much. Someone was bound to pick the letter up and open it. 

“What do you think?” Kakashi asked after explaining the plan. He was lying next to Obito, letting his fingers run through the short and tangled strands. 

The moonlight began to fade into the glow of morning. This could be seen through the cracks of the blinds.

Time was running short. 

“That’s a lot of steps,” Obito replied, unimpressed. His hand rested on Kakashi’s bare chest, drawing shapes and patterns. The atmosphere felt lazy and relaxed, despite their uncertainty about the future. Neither of them could tell what was going to happen or what to expect but they found comfort in each other’s arms. Kakashi couldn’t ask for more than that. 

“I think this might be my best suicide plan so far,” he pondered aloud.

“So, all of your previous suicide plans suck,” Obito stated. His tone remained dry. However, there were subtle signs of amusement. He didn’t exactly smile, but the amusement was there, hidden in his gaze.

Kakashi had never understood it before, but he’d missed being able to tell lame and dark jokes without being given troubled looks. The best part was that Obito didn’t chuckle out of politeness. He could read Kakashi and able to embrace the awkward expression of those morbid thoughts. Most people were just startled by such indirect honesty. 

Kakashi knew that he wasn’t going to miss his life in Konoha much in the long run. He just wanted to be with his best friend. He had been honest in his letter since they did have some catching up to do.

Kakashi didn’t consider himself as a super important factor even though he assumed that Konoha was going to be crippled by the loss of the Fifth’s only successor candidate. The village hadn’t been stable in years which was why every unanticipated event was a potential disaster.

Perhaps a little bit of chaos was what the world needed.

A thoughtful pause was taken. Admittedly, the entire situation seemed disquieting. There were still obstacles to overcome and some questions that had to be answered.

“What are you thinking about?” Kakashi started off by the vaguest one. 

Obito glanced at him without a readable expression. 

Soon enough, they’d start preparing for the departure but a few more peaceful moments couldn’t hurt.

“Nothing,” Obito murmured. “Except that you’re an idiot,” his spontaneous announcement sounded disturbingly sincere.

“Information acquired,” Kakashi reassured, pulling Obito just a tiny bit closer. They’d talked about this briefly. It was evident that Obito wasn’t too excited about Kakashi’s decision to leave the village. It was kind of strange coming from the man who’d been once so determined to watch the entire universe burn because of places like Konoha. 

Kakashi’s best guess was that Obito’s disapproval came from a sense of culpability. Even though the decision to leave was made for very pragmatic reasons, their affair had led to all of this. Kakashi could still picture himself as an old, tired man who’d served the village for years, acknowledging his skepticism toward the system. It was Obito who’d put an end to Kakashi’s apathy. 

Apparently, they were equally aware of it. 

Several people were going to disappointed. 

Kakashi knew that he’d leave his former comrades devastated, not to mention that the Fifth would have to consume an abysmal amount of sake to overcome the drawback. She’d been fairly positive that Konoha was about to change for the better but without a successor, she wouldn’t be able to guarantee that.

It was probably best not to think about some reactions at all.

Kakashi wasn’t sure whether he was going to let his former students know that he was alive. He wanted to protect those two – no, those three. Associates of known traitors were usually regarded with suspicion. The last thing Kakashi wished to do was to drag those kids into this mess. It was the ultimate reason why he had to be dead to Konoha. 

“Hey?” Obito cut off the troubled loop of thoughts. His fingers had stopped moving, but his hand was still resting on Kakashi’s chest.

“Mm?”

“Are you sure you wanna do this?”

“I am,” Kakashi replied. It was an honest answer. “My students are going to be heartbroken.”

“Yeah? That medic kid might put two and two together,” Obito said. It was probably the first time he mentioned the night he’d reunited with Kakashi. Things had changed quite a bit ever since then. Neither of them had originally thought that they’d leave Konoha together.

“She doesn’t know who you are,” Kakashi reminded but to be fair, his students had never been dumb. The thought of them figuring out the truth was somewhat soothing. 

Kakashi wasn’t exactly fond of making people mourn. He’d been there, grieving. Whilst falsely inflicted sorrow was a necessity, it felt selfish and callous. Sometimes life dealt one some tough cards.

Despite having his doubts, Kakashi had hope for better days. It was easy to believe in good outcomes because warm feelings made everything look a little bit brighter. This wasn’t a happy night but Kakashi didn’t complain. He was just glad that Obito was there, alive and well.

“So, are you excited to have some company?” Kakashi kept his tone nonchalant but the uncertainty behind the jest was rather real. Obito hadn’t exactly shown much support for the escape plan. He’d merely told Kakashi that the whole idea was stupid and thoughtless. But then again, a sharp tongue and a dozen baffling statements were to be expected.

“Very,” Obito claimed. His voice indicated otherwise, but Kakashi saw a hint of something delicate in Obito’s eyes.

“Good,” Kakashi said. “From now on, it’s only you and I. And the dogs. Doesn’t seem too bad to me,” he added. He’d managed to get a few chuckles out of Obito with such silly nonsense. Pleasingly, it worked again. An eye-roll counted. 

“Right, no more nice things,” Obito agreed. He brushed his fingers over Kakashi’s chest, shifting his gaze to the ceiling. “But you’re still a dumbass,” perhaps this argument was his way of apologizing for not being able to stop Kakashi from following him. Life as a rogue shinobi was far from luxurious.

But an average life in Konoha wasn’t too different from that. 

Kakashi didn’t think that he losing a thing. He’d get to live like never before. And out of the two of them, he was more willing to change his views. Obito, on the other hand, hadn’t even thought about the possibility of returning. He’d never accepted the system where obedience mattered more than the individuals who served the villages. Kakashi valued that. He wasn’t going to suggest for Obito to consider a prospect neither of them wanted to think about.

Many questions were still unanswered but right now, they were insignificant.

Kakashi smiled as he felt a tiny kiss on his shoulder. Obito’s lips had a particular feel to them because of the scar, and that sensation was becoming very familiar. 

Small displays of affection were becoming casual. 

There was no more hesitation, no more wariness. This relationship had kisses, cuddles and moments of procrastination. It had weird ordinariness in it.

Kakashi was still amazed at how things had turned, and more so, that he was given another chance with Obito. He wanted to make most of it now that luck had finally turned around.

They did not speak about the day when they’d fallen apart. It would always be a touchy subject but the constant hurt had faded away. Now there was forgiveness instead.

Kakashi smoothed his hand over Obito’s hair.

They didn’t talk about the things that they had done before they were reunited. Admittedly, many things were horrifying to think about. Kakashi knew that Obito had made some of the worst choices in the past. He could tell that the man lying next to him was far from innocent and no stranger to accounts of violence committed against people who’d stood on his way.

And yet, none of it seemed to weight much on the larger scale.

There had been lonely nights when Kakashi had wondered if he was selfish. After all, he’d concluded that Obito had played his part in various tragedies. A coldblooded killer was hardly worth saving.

Their eyes met.

All of a sudden, Kakashi was glad that he hadn’t gone through with turning Obito in. He had felt hurt and betrayed when he had learned that Obito had been alive all along. The treachery had left a vacancy in Kakashi’s heart, and he wasn’t too sure he was _wanted_ to trust in Obito – and Obito had told him not to.

But in spite of that, Kakashi hadn’t claimed that he couldn’t understand the desire for a better society. He could see the reasoning behind all Obito’s actions. He could’ve chosen the same path. And nothing was achieved by judging someone’s fundamental need to change the world for the better. The inclination for that was a very defining part of Obito. They watched this pitch black hell through the same eyes, so a piece of that aspiration was a part of Kakashi, too.

And the altruistic side showed more than the jaded one. It meant more.

Once again, Kakashi realized that Obito hadn’t changed at all. That selfless personality was there. It wasn’t as apparent as before but time hardened shells. Kakashi could still see flashes of genuine care on Obito’s face whenever Obito let his guard down. 

Kakashi wasn’t good with words. He didn’t know how people were even supposed to speak in a relationship. Still, he wanted to express the depth of his emotions somehow. Usually, little things such as gentle kisses and long embraces did the job, but the time seemed right for a different approach. The world lacked in kindness, and words possessed the potential to be compassionate. 

“You know I love you, right?” 

Obito blinked.

“I… Kakashi?” there was a slight furrow in his brow. A few seconds of silence followed the question. Obito’s eyes were wide and full of emotion but as always, Kakashi was unable to read his expression. It was just vague enough to be incomprehensible.

“It’s true – I really do,” Kakashi reassured as he pressed his lips on Obito’s scarred cheek. 

“I think I love you, too,” Obito finally replied, quiet. He’d said it aloud despite his reluctance.  
Kakashi smiled as he noticed how a weak little blush crept up Obito’s face, decorating his features with an almost innocent look. 

It was weird how one of the most searched criminals was so reserved. Obito had the nerve to stand up against the entire world but when it came down to pillow talk, his confidence got replaced by shyness.

Yet, it made a perfect sense.

Obito had always been a walking paradox and that was an attribute that Kakashi cherished about him. This life didn’t have to be so simple, and Kakashi had to admit he was fond of mild mysteries. He adored Obito’s perplexing nature and his oddities. 

The air felt tense and electrified.

This is where Kakashi noticed that their lips were almost touching. He couldn’t tell which one of them leaned in first. It wasn’t important. This kiss was long and wary, gentle and lingering.

Kakashi ran his fingers across the long, vertical scar on Obito’s back, brushing the line between artificial and the natural. He was careful not to be too upfront since he didn’t want to make Obito pull away with a self-conscious flinch. 

A little bit of niceness for the old wounds appeared to be fine.

For a moment, Kakashi was certain that he’d heard a silent moan or felt against his mouth. Obito’s body pressed harder against his, and it looked like intimate things were going to happen. Kakashi rested his hand on Obito’s lower back. He wasn’t going to let go, nor was Obito. His grip felt any other touch he’d placed on Kakashi’s skin in the past.

Was it trust?

They’d always been ready to die for one another. That went without even saying.

Obito shifted his position, coiling his leg around Kakashi. They lied on their sides, sprawled and tangled in the sheets.

And then they’d reached the point where they were willing to live for each other, too.

Five sharp nails sank into Kakashi’s shoulder.

Perhaps trust wasn’t the correct term but Obito wasn’t as restrained as before. Kakashi ran his hand along Obito’s spine, over his tailbone, marveling at the texture of the scar that connected the organic skin tissue with the pale, synthetic surface.  

Obito’s lips parted into a breathless protest but once Kakashi stopped exploring the irregularities, he felt a hard yank that pulled him back into the fierce kiss, crying out for care and attention.

“Hey?” Obito broke away from the kiss.

“Mm?” Kakashi exhaled, trying to catch his breath. A heated sensation was building up inside of him, hardening his cock and making him desperate to do all kinds of things to Obito, or rather with him.

They were panting when their eyes met again.

“I wanna get it right.”

Obito raised his leg and draped it over Kakashi’s. Their hips clashed together and Kakashi noticed that they were both equally hard. He traced his hand down Obito’s naked skin, giving his rump a gentle squeeze. It wasn’t a grand gesture. Obito whimpered at it nonetheless.

Hopefully, they’d be able to enjoy the intimacy of sex.

Kakashi wasn’t going to push it. He knew better than that, so he kept his touch light.

This wasn’t to say that he was hiding his lust.

They both wanted to give into the thrill and let it go.

Obito had told many times that Kakashi owed him nothing, and it was easy to see what Obito meant by saying it. After all, love wasn’t about keeping count of favors. It was bigger than that.

Regardless of this, Kakashi was glad to finally have another chance to hold on to Obito and give him something good after all of those years of pain and ache. 

Obito raised his hips, letting out a shuddering breath. His shaft chafed against Kakashi’s crotch, leaking with precum and leaving a wet stain on the fabric of Kakashi’s underwear. They’d need to get rid of those.

They kissed again whilst Kakashi smiled against Obito’s lips. He felt a slow shift against him – no, he almost saw it through his closed lids.

Obito elevated his leg, allowing himself to be caressed with slow strokes. The fear of being touched seemed to be overcome, yet, leniency was probably required.

This moment was fragile, and Kakashi wasn’t going to ruin it. He didn’t ask about the scars, nor did he ask about possible pains. Instead, he studied Obito’s reactions carefully, memorizing the places where his touch was rewarded with sighs and sobs.

Some brushes were met with suspension and numbness whilst the other ones made Obito moan, silent but moaning.

“You like this, don’t you?” Kakashi noted as he massaged the cheeks of Obito’s ass with circular motions. He wondered what it was like to spread them apart. The mere thought of it made the hunger increase.

Kakashi’s cock twitched, bulging in his boxers.

“Seriously, fuck you,” Obito murmured. The flush on his face darkened. Such a simple, unplanned reaction was the best possible compliment.

“You should, I’d like it,” Kakashi said before he kissed away the rest of the cusses, enjoying the sensation of Obito’s teeth sinking into his bottom lip, giving it a gentle bite. “Or the other way around,” he added after they pulled apart.

“You’re insufferable,” Obito announced with a soft smile lurking at the corners of his eyes. He was right about it.

Kakashi savored the soft chuckles that his nonsense sparked. He just wanted to hear more of them.

Obito slid his hand under the band Kakashi’s boxers. Although there was still slight hesitation, he pulled them down. Kakashi lifted his feet, slipping out of his underwear. The garment got tossed somewhere on the floor, and Obito curled his fingers around Kakashi’s erection. He was a bit rough, a bit untaught and groping.

Kakashi didn’t mind. He had missed being touched like this. His hips arched forward, spurred on by the touch.

“It feels very good, you know,” Kakashi decided to go back to his usual bullshit as he saw the vulnerable look in Obito’s gaze. He needed to convey that this was nice and that he wanted Obito to keep going until they both would see stars. “Can I touch you?”

Obito swallowed and took a deep breath. His hand was still pressed against Kakashi’s erection.

“I… I’d like that,” he said after a few moments of speechless fumbling.

There was something incredibly sweet and defenseless in that answer. Such vulnerability would never stop astounding Kakashi. In the current light, it was hard to believe that this man was feared by so many.

Kakashi slid his hand down, honoring the sharp edge of the coxal bone and stopping at the root of the shaft. He felt Obito’s hold tightening around him and for a second, the threat didn’t seem as unreal as it did just a heartbeat ago. Kakashi groaned, not sure if he enjoyed the feeling or not. The previous tenderness was replaced by the grip that was anything but gentle. 

Kakashi shivered as he proceeded to caress Obito’s cock with long, cautious strokes. He was curious to see how far they could go. 

Their position was awkward, but it had the potential to work out. It was just a matter of skill. Kakashi tried to recall the things he’d heard about making love to someone without proper training in the said field. There was an element of unpredictability, and it was relatively new to him despite those couple of intimate nights.

Slowly, he began to stroke a bit harder. A thin layer of precum lubricated the length, setting the pace for the slow, hard jerks.

“Easy,” Kakashi cooed as Obito hissed in pleasure, his hips arching back and then forward, his cock pushing into Kakashi’s fist. At the same time, the grip loosened, slipped away. This provided Kakashi a chance to guide Obito and pull him to the top. “Now, let’s try something nice.”

Obito bit his lip as he bent down, reaching for Kakashi’s member again. Kakashi took his hand and led it to the right place.

Unspoken promises were all around.

Kakashi had already said enough. However, that didn’t stop him from whispering sweet nothings and telling that Obito was absolutely lovely, so lovely.

They were going to get it right.

Obito leaned down to press his lips on Kakashi’s. Their stares connected briefly before the kiss. A gleam of sincerity flashed in Obito’s eyes, reflecting joy and nervousness, and Kakashi _really_ wanted this man. The sensation of being touched and touching was incredible. 

Gradual motions kept rubbing Kakashi as he brought his freed hand up over Obito’s ass. He began to lace his fingers between the spread legs, exploring the warm, welted flesh. This was another part where he needed to be careful.

Obito stiffened.

The kiss wasn’t broken, though. 

Several scars could be felt. They garnished Obito’s pelvic region with little folds and coils, redefining the texture of the perianal skin. 

The most distinguishable scar down there was located on just between Obito’s slit and balls. Kakashi brushed his index finger over it, gently acknowledging the existence of the old injury. It felt beautiful, just like every etched detail of the past. 

Many shinobi believed that bravery was measured in marks. 

Kakashi thought how lucky he was due to the fact that Obito was there, alive despite all of the odds. 

The sentiment made Kakashi’s hard cock twitch.

“I want you,” Kakashi spoke against Obito’s lips in between the kisses. “I want you so much.”

Perhaps it was selfish to say such things. Kakashi didn’t deserve someone who’d already sacrificed so much for him. If only he’d been less stuck-up all those years ago… 

“Kakashi?”

“I’m sorry,” apologies weren’t going to make up for the mistakes, but Kakashi had to to say something. 

He just had to.

“Again,” Obito muttered as he brought his hand on Kakashi’s cheek, letting his palm rest upon it, “fuck you.”

Kakashi let out a weak chuckle as he pulled Obito back into a kiss.

It seemed that they were equally confused by the extent of their emotions.

“Turn onto your stomach,” Kakashi instructed once there was a gap between kisses. “It will be easier that way.”

Obito bit his lip. It was a habit of his during moments like these.

But his hesitation melted into a soft, longing gaze. He took a shaky breath that was masked into a harsh, self-aware laugh.

“You’re not expecting anything actually good, right?” he then asked.

Kakashi could’ve reassured that he didn’t believe that sex with a loved one was going to be bad. He was fairly certain that he was going to like it, no matter what.

But those reassurances didn’t seem to work well.

“Of course not, I like it when it’s bad,” Kakashi decided to go with gentle silliness instead. He was glad to receive a look that almost passed as a glare.

“Great,” Obito mumbled, rolling over.

It wasn’t an actual confession, but there was an implication that this was new to him.

Kakashi had never asked about Obito’s possible affairs but one could assume that sex life wasn’t too exciting for traitors, and given how untrained and uncertain Obito’s moves were, it seemed fairly safe to assume that he’d never gone this far with another man – or anyone.

The narrow bed left a little room for moving around.

Kakashi pushed himself up to straddle Obito’s legs, looking down.

“Maa, no pressure,” he said then, enjoying the sight of the firm, well-built frame. “Besides, we’re having fun even now, aren’t we?”

Obito responded with a huff that was more in good humor than exasperation. His muscles became visibly less tense as Kakashi crouched down to plant a smooch.

A little bit of care and attention could do many amazing things.

It had been a while ever since the last time someone had stayed a night but Kakashi was still able to find a bottle of lube from the top drawer of his bedside stand.

Obito tilted his head to take a glance at Kakashi. His gaze was soft and open, and it made him look more beautiful than before.

Once they were all set, Kakashi pressed another modest kiss on Obito’s shoulder blade, hoping that this was a fitting reassurance that everything was alright.

“You’re gorgeous,” he murmured as he brought his hands on Obito’s cheeks, spreading them apart. The skin beneath his fingers felt hot, aroused.

Obito raised his hips, sighing into the pile of pillows under his head. The tilt exposed his most private parts. The elevated angle of his hips allowed Kakashi to operate better. 

“Now, relax.”

A drop of precum dripped on the sheets, and it was such a gratifying sight. 

Kakashi brought his lubricating fingers on the tiny hole. 

“Are you sure about this?” he asked. He needed to know that Obito wanted this as much as he did before going any further. 

The first response was a frustrated moan.

Kakashi was aching, aching whilst beholding that beautiful, beautiful view.

He _really_ wanted to massage all the tension away and slid into that sweet little hole.

“Just do something, will you,” Obito groaned. His voice was heavy with the breath, and his tone sounded almost embarrassed.

Kakashi swirled his finger around the rim. The little motion made Obito’s cock twitch and his hips push towards Kakashi’s index finger. It was fair to assume that this wasn’t intentional – not at this point.

“What exactly?” Kakashi decided to do it again, taking a distinct pleasure in knowing that it was his teasing that made Obito’s legs tremble and another wet drop hit the sheets.

“Just… C’mon.”

Kakashi wasn’t brackish enough to demand an honest answer. However, he let a smile curl his lips up. He liked the way Obito swallowed his pride and lowered his walls just for this one moment. Most importantly, the current positioning of their bodies made such impish expressions invisible. 

All of this felt still somewhat strange given the rocky past. 

Kakashi ran his index finger across the scar on Obito’s taint one last time before letting his touch fall away. He lubricated his fingers, never taking his gaze off the scarred skin. 

“Ready?”

“Yeah, amaze me,” the answer came out almost as a challenge. 

Kakashi wouldn't have had it any other way.

He began to slide his finger into the slit. Obito was squeezing the sheets into his fists.

“Does it hurt?” 

“Hurt?” the usual snark was missing. It was replaced by the absence of thought. “It’s just weird.”

Kakashi was pretty certain that he got what kind of weirdness was it that was brought up. He’d had his fair share of it during his early twenties, back when he was sent on missions.

Looking back, maybe the question itself had been borderline ridiculous. It took more than a slight motion to make a shinobi whimper out of pain not to mention that the last time Obito had shown any signs of pain had been almost two decades ago. He hadn’t even made a sound when he’d reunited with Kakashi, being on the verge of death.

“Good,” Kakashi husked. He kissed Obito’s shoulder lightly and then drew back.

Obito tilted his head back, glancing up at Kakashi.

“I don’t break that easy,” he reminded, and sure, if he wanted, he could shake Kakashi off with ease – though he wouldn’t. 

“Better safe than sorry,” Kakashi gave a slow rub on Obito’s cheek without moving. Some adjusting was needed before this could be comfortable for both of them. The hole felt still tight around Kakashi’s finger. “Besides, we need to get comfy, don’t you agree?”

It was interesting how utter gibberish like this felt more genuine than most of the things that Kakashi said. His gaze was still locked on Obito’s. 

The intensity in his eyes hadn’t faded away. 

Warmth washed over Kakashi. He wished to protect his friend, to repay for the past harm.

Obito’s eyes were still glimmering as they blinked at the sudden moonlight came flooding through the curtains. 

The tension was decreasing.

This seemed like the right moment to go a bit further. Slowly, Kakashi curled his finger, pressing into the walls, pushing a little deeper.

This caused a reaction that was not only desired but also stronger than anticipated.

A long, loud moan rattled through the air, and Obito arched his back, shuddering, grasping the sheets again.

“Kakashi?” he breathed out, almost like a plea. “I… It felt really good.”

The silent confession was exactly what Kakashi had hoped for.

“Let’s try it again,” he suggested, keeping his tone mild even though remaining soft-spoken was hard. The wait was antagonizing, though pleasingly so. 

And once Kakashi fulfilled the promise to repeat his former action, Obito cursed aloud, sinking deep into the mattress. The distance between his legs widened which was an invitation.

 _Do it again_ , it read.

Now, who was Kakashi to deny such a request? He could recall the exact spot that was particularly sensitive to the touch. The walls around his finger felt less strained. The notion gave him the confidence to slip another slick digit into Obito’s ass.

“Relax.”

It took a while before the tension began to subside.

Kakashi utilized this time to stroke Obito’s cheek with his free hand. He said all kinds of cheesy, happy that his words were met with shaky chuckles.

There was a teardrop on the top pillow, darkening the fabric with a circular dot. 

He decided not to address it. Obito wasn’t the type to accept too many consoling acts.

They were both learning a lot about each other, becoming more and more familiar with one another in the most intimate possible way, and they both enjoyed the mutual lesson. 

Kakashi stretched away more tension by rotating his fingers in Obito. When he scissored them, another loud moan cut through the air, echoing in the room. He hushed Obito’s cries with kisses and kept making love with his fingers until all the tension was gone. 

“I think we might be ready,” Kakashi stated, pressing a peck on Obito’s nape of the neck. “Do you still want to do this?”

“Yeah,” Obito replied, face still buried to the pillow. His usually raspy voice sounded almost smooth without the usual wry tone in it.

Kakashi positioned himself carefully between Obito’s legs, murmuring truthful, stupid nonsense whilst spreading Obito’s cheeks apart, rubbing them gently to ensure that he really, really wanted to make Obito feel absolutely amazing and that this was what he longed for, too.

Obito turned his head towards Kakashi over one last time, biting his lip. His pupils were large and dark. It was impossible to tell whether this was because of arousal or fear. Maybe both.

Kakashi gave a slight rub to Obito’s ass and smiled. He really loved this man.

And wanted him, wanted him so much.

“Just do something already,” Obito mumbled. He spread wider, raising himself higher. Even though the arch of his back seemed to be unintentional, the view of it was absolutely gorgeous.

Kakashi took his sweet time to stroke those muscular cheeks before pulling his fingers out. He lubed up his cock and began to sink into the hot, tiny slit. Obito let out a low whimper. Even if he was aching, he pushed against Kakashi, thrusting with him.

The physical contact felt incredible after the entire wait.

A sharp breath escaped Kakashi’s lips as he the tense rim tightening around his length. It was so tight and warm, just perfect.

Kakashi laid his hands down on Obito’s hips, shushing and gentling, wishing he could see Obito’s face. He felt a tremble against his hands and legs. Their bodies were tangled together, and it was hard to pinpoint the origin of the shiver.

“Move,” Obito demanded.

“Soon,” Kakashi ensure, sliding his hand down Obito’s hip, all the way down to the profusely leaking cock. “Let’s make the most of this – let’s not rush,” he spoke with a lowered voice. In all fairness, they were probably already doing that, creating beauty out of life’s stains.

Kakashi allowed a moment for himself to take a good look at Obito’s body.

The mixture of scars and abnormal smoothness was a bit of a harsh sight. Kakashi brushed his hand over the vertical scar on Obito’s back, noting that it wasn’t as deep as its reversed image on Obito’s chest.

These old wounds were painful to watch, but they were beautiful.

Kakashi pressed tighter against Obito, glad that at least he had this one opportunity to make things right.

He was going to take it. He began to rock his hips slowly, placing his hand back on Obito’s hipbone for some support. With his other hand, he caressed Obito’s cock. The slow, gentle strokes were rewarded by a twitch. 

Kakashi kept going, making sure to be tender. 

Obito responded with moans and whimpers, raising his hips to reach the touch. His body was curving along with the inward movement. Kakashi squeezed his eyes shut as he exhaled a long breath. He’d never felt this close to someone before. 

This felt different and real.

It was like even their souls were touching, becoming one with each thrust.

He groaned as the wall tightened around his shaft. He could feel it pulsating inside the hot ass. The friction was stronger. Every push brought a half-choked whine from Obito, and the pressure was almost to rough to handle. 

“You feel so amazing,” Kakashi whispered as Obito cried aloud in pleasure, letting out a silent cuss. They hadn’t found the perfect rhythm just yet but they would.

Kakashi had kept his Sharingan closed, but for a brief moment, not longer than a blink, he could _see_ what Obito saw. A view of the sheets and pillows invaded his mind, showing a tear-blurred image.

Did it hurt?

Kakashi paused only to get a hoarse protest. 

“Don’t stop,” Obito drew a sharp breath. “Keep going.”

An unsaid _please_ in the space between them. 

Kakashi hesitated, but Obito wasn’t having it. He pressed against Kakashi’s length, taking the entire cock at once, making it clear that such roughness was more than fine for him. 

If this was the case, it was fine for Kakashi, too. He was willing to do anything that would make Obito dissolve and melt into pleasure. 

“Alright then,” Kakashi murmured. He began to move again, letting the clenching sensation flood his body with heat.

Every thrust reached deeper. Each momentum was a countdown to the end. Kakashi felt electrified. He vaguely comprehended that this act was much more meaningful than he’d ever imagined.

Quiet sobs were getting louder, and the walls tightened around Kakashi’s swollen cock.

They got closer and closer to the highest point, their souls intertwining as surely as their bodies joined together.

“I’ve missed you so, so much,” Kakashi grunted as he pushed his pelvis forward and back, forward and back. His fingers were coated with sticky substances. He could almost smell the arousal in the room. 

Obito took the thrusts as they came, cursing and moaning at the abuse. He looked beautiful like that, all worked up and twisting in pleasure. 

Kakashi was honored to be the one to send shiver’s down Obito’s spine, to be the one who got to witness this reduced state. 

He couldn’t get enough of it.

“Turn around,”  he whispered. “Let me see you.”

Obito didn’t protest when Kakashi slowly took his cock out. They shifted their bodies to face each other and let their gazes collide. Obito’s eyes were dark and glimmering. The same vulnerability that had been there since the start could be seen again. 

The eye contact never broke. 

Kakashi ran his fingers over the swirling scars before he nudged himself back into Obito’s hole. He began to thrust his length in and out, taking it slow. 

Obito readjusted to the sensation fast. He grasped for Kakashi’s hair, pulling their bodies closer together. The tight squeeze left a burning feeling on Kakashi’s scalp. It also sent shots of electricity through his veins.

He liked it. 

One particular thrust seemed to hit the right spot inside Obito. His nails dug into Kakashi’s back. A loud cry turned into a deep, desperate groan. These adorable sounds were beyond suppressing.

“Fucking hell, Kakashi, do it again,” Obito demanded as another well-aimed thrust hit the same sweet spot. There was a euphoric, absent look on his face. 

Kakashi gladly obliged. He was mesmerized by the way Obito was twisting and turning, barely able to keep himself attached to this reality. His walls were clenching and pulsing, tighter and tighter.

Kakashi wasn’t going to last for long. He kept rocking his hips back and forth, swearing to himself that they were both going to be happier than ever before once they’d reach the sky and the world around them would crumble. 

Another deep thrust made Obito squirm and writhe. His body arched in a sudden spasm, so much that Kakashi was able to feel the bend. He took advantage out of the situation and repeated the same push all the way down.

Life was surreal.

Kakashi had still a hard time believing that Obito was there, shuddering because of what Kakashi could do him.

Kakashi didn’t mind this sort of absurdity at all. He dipped down and pressed his lips against Obito’s, kissing the tormented sobs away.

“ so close,” Obito sputtered when they pulled apart, both gasping for more air.

“Come,” Kakashi encouraged. “I’m close, too.”

With one final thrust, he was all the way inside Obito. He felt a clutch around his cock as Obito grabbed a hold of him, shaking and practically shrieking. The overwhelming mixture of incomprehensible emotions and physical bliss made Kakashi find his own release.

He groaned with relief, spiraling down into blissful oblivion.

The last thing he could recall was a splash of liquid against his stomach. The world around him dissolved into darkness and shattered, revitalizing Kakashi’s entire being with gratification and peace.

He fell on top of Obito, spent.

It took a couple of moments before Kakashi had mustered enough strength to pull out and roll over. He wrapped his arm around Obito, noticing tears streaming down from the corners of his eyes.

“Crybaby,” Kakashi commented as he wiped away a few of them but to be fair, his vision was blurred, too.

“Shut up,” Obito murmured. He pressed a tiny kiss on Kakashi’s cheek before speaking again. “We’ve got stuff to do, don’t we?” he was correct, but there were no signs of objection when Kakashi drew his powerless body closer.

“Right you are,” Kakashi admitted.

He cleaned up most of the spilled fluids with the first piece of fabric that he could find, helping Obito to lift his rag-doll body from the bed. Whilst the future was indistinct, it wasn’t entirely unreasonable to think that there were going to be new nights for snuggling.

The sun was up.

There was something final about the quick hug that Kakashi gave to Obito just before getting up.

“So, I guess we should turn this place into a bonfire,” Kakashi stated. He was still confident with the plan. Fires swallowed bodies, and he needed to get rid of a non-existed one. “I’m pretty sure that we can avoid casualties.”

This was Konoha. People around here were quick to act. All that was needed was a hot enough blast to make it seem that anyone inside this apartment was a goner, a pile of ashes.

“Yeah, I can take care of that,” Obito promised. He’d taken the liberty of going through Kakashi’s closet to find a pair of pants and a shirt.

“Would I burn myself to death?” Kakashi asked. The thought felt weird and foreign but then again, he’d always kept to himself. No one in the village could tell for sure whether he would end his life so grotesquely or not.

“You would,” Obito replied, focused on the shirt that didn’t quite fit. “It’s a compliment,” he insisted after catching Kakashi’s stare.

It was better not to question the logic.

At least fire seemed efficient. Another plus side to the plan was the lack of ashes. Kakashi didn’t want to be the person whose grave was visited frequently. Substantially, the lack of ashes hadn’t stopped him from visiting the memorial stone every day in the past. He’d been a gloomy individual, though. His acquaintances were different.

It was a shame to leave them behind.

But once Obito glanced at Kakashi with a hint of hope in his eyes, the regrets disappeared. A humble amount of optimism was transmitted to Kakashi. It didn’t make him smile but he wasn’t frowning either.

He’d get to be with his best friend, and that was all that mattered for now.

Neither of them spoke – not when they left the place, not even when they watched the burning building from afar.

They’d think about this moment years later.

Many things in this world were broken, and they had to be fixed. It was going to be a long process. They both knew it.

But it was hard to be wholeheartedly cynical about it when the burden was shared by two.

Kakashi made sure to remind Obito of this when they got the chance to finally continue their cuddling.

He got similar reminders of it every day, too.

Even after Obito's first gray hair and even when Kakashi's face was a map of the world.


End file.
